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I walked to school at 5 in New Zealand, took the bus to town at 10 to go to the library or the pool. My son at 11 took the BART to and from school from Berkele

I walked to school at 5 in New Zealand, took the bus to town at 10 to go to the library or the pool. My son at 11 took the BART to and from school from Berkeley/Oakland to El Cerito, other parents were horrified - we moved back to NZ a couple of years later, handed both kids a bus timetable and a phone and sent them off to town to explore. One of our main goals as a parent is to create independent kids who can function alone in the world - we don't want them still living in the basement at 30

throwaway613834 9y ago
> One of our main goals as a parent is to create independent kids who can function alone in the world - we don't want them still living in the basement at 30 FYI this is a cultural thing. Not every culture's parents kicks out their children when they turn 18. So if it doesn't work out this way for whatever reason, don't view it as right or wrong unless you feel it's wrong to go against the culture (which also isn't inherently wrong either).
- Taniwha 9y ago
  Oh we didn't kick them out, they left when they wanted to go, and have come back at times when it has made sense (after college for a while to save money for example).
  - deleted 9y ago
    [deleted]
- keerthiko 9y ago
  American culture is the ultra-contradiction of both expecting kids to be independent at 18 (or 22 with well-to-do families) AND kids not being able to develop that independence at all growing up. EDIT: The expectation of independence at 18 is not just between parents and the kid, but sometimes the kid's older SO, or society, or some other people who constantly repeat "once you're 18 you can do what you want", except they have no idea how to do it responsibly.
Silhouette 9y ago
One of our main goals as a parent is to create independent kids who can function alone in the world - we don't want them still living in the basement at 30 Thank you. I can never understand how often this aspect is completely ignored when debating what is or isn't safe for a child to do unsupervised. How is a child ever supposed to mature if they have no opportunity to develop? Of course as a parent you have a responsibility to introduce your child to new ideas and behaviours at reasonable times when they are able to cope with them, but if you just wrap them in a cocoon forever and never let them see the real world, how can they possibly learn to look after themselves and integrate into our wider society as adults?

throwaway613834 9y ago

> One of our main goals as a parent is to create independent kids who can function alone in the world - we don't want them still living in the basement at 30 FYI this is a cultural thing. Not every culture's parents kicks out their children when they turn 18. So if it doesn't work out this way for whatever reason, don't view it as right or wrong unless you feel it's wrong to go against the culture (which also isn't inherently wrong either).

Taniwha 9y ago
Oh we didn't kick them out, they left when they wanted to go, and have come back at times when it has made sense (after college for a while to save money for example).
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
keerthiko 9y ago
American culture is the ultra-contradiction of both expecting kids to be independent at 18 (or 22 with well-to-do families) AND kids not being able to develop that independence at all growing up. EDIT: The expectation of independence at 18 is not just between parents and the kid, but sometimes the kid's older SO, or society, or some other people who constantly repeat "once you're 18 you can do what you want", except they have no idea how to do it responsibly.

Silhouette 9y ago

One of our main goals as a parent is to create independent kids who can function alone in the world - we don't want them still living in the basement at 30 Thank you. I can never understand how often this aspect is completely ignored when debating what is or isn't safe for a child to do unsupervised. How is a child ever supposed to mature if they have no opportunity to develop? Of course as a parent you have a responsibility to introduce your child to new ideas and behaviours at reasonable times when they are able to cope with them, but if you just wrap them in a cocoon forever and never let them see the real world, how can they possibly learn to look after themselves and integrate into our wider society as adults?