I prefer "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" where self-help books are concerned. Also, my rule when dealing with others is don't mistake for malice that which can be

I prefer "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" where self-help books are concerned. Also, my rule when dealing with others is don't mistake for malice that which can be explained by ignorance or incompetence. AKA give someone the benefit of the doubt. And in the specific case you mention, I'll say as a gay marriage advocate, that someone who doesn't believe in gay marriage should not be forced to use terms they believe apply only to heterosexual marriages. IMO both of those people are entitled to their views and preferences and both need to agree to disagree. Without being disagreeable.