8 ms·

I enjoy running into people or meeting up with them periodically to keep in touch with anyone who isn't a close friend. That way they can tell me everything the

I enjoy running into people or meeting up with them periodically to keep in touch with anyone who isn't a close friend. That way they can tell me everything they've been going through in person. To me that's more fun than getting a stream of micro updates on everyone. Keeping up-to-date with multiple people using FB is like trying to watch multiple shows in short snippets concurrently mixed together. When you could just wait a bit and then watch it all as a contiguous story or have a real meaningful conversation with a person to catch up over dinner or something.

wincy 9y ago
I think you hit the nail on the head. I was anxious quitting Facebook, but now that I have it feels so much more meaningful to meet with someone I haven't seen in months and have a nice lunch or dinner with them and catch up.
- wybiral 9y ago
  Catching up feels more important and seems to have more substance that way. The little snippets people share on FB probably are also less personal, imo. It's stuff they're announcing to everyone instead of sharing with you or a small group. It just doesn't feel like actually "keeping in touch" to me. Feels more like promoted content (from the people and the actual ads).
notacoward 9y ago
And what do you suggest for people who have broader circles of friends all over the world, and/or can't jet-set to visit them all periodically? A platform's utility to you might not equal its utility for others.
- wybiral 9y ago
  Fair enough. We all have different definitions of the words "friend" and "keep in touch". I have some friends who live too far away to visit that I do set some time aside to have an occasional video chat with.
- randomdata 9y ago
  Email, text messages, the telephone, and a million other similar services? I will point out that the parent seems to be referring to the posts that people make to no specific recipient. That is not keeping contact with your friends, this is watching your friend make an appearance on TV, so to speak. Admittedly neat the first time you see it, but the novelty quickly fades when they are "on TV" every day. Yes, Facebook Messenger and Groups do actually provide a decent service for keeping contact with friends around the world. You can absolutely use Facebook in that way, but, from the perspective of business longevity and health, does it really provide more than similar services that do the same? Personally, I'm not sure the network effects are as strong when talking about friends keeping in contact with each other. If I want to check in with a close friend who lives abroad, it is not a huge barrier to ask for their phone number or email address. And chances are I already have that information. The one value proposition that Facebook does have, in my option, is that it is the internet's "telephone book". For acquaintances that you want to contact and have to look them up to find them, it is a pretty good bet that you will find them on Facebook. But there is also plenty of competition here as well, such as Linkedin, which seems to embrace the "telephone book" concept even more so than Facebook.
  - notacoward 9y ago
    > Email, text messages, the telephone, and a million other similar services? Mostly one to one, meaning more time investment if you want to reach a bunch of people with some news. Or maybe a mailing list you'd have to manage (which can be quite a chore thanks to spam). Dependency on high/reliable bandwidth for the video-char route. Again, utility to one might not equal utility to others. Some people have less free time to do everything in the way you or wybiral might, or maybe they just have different preferences. Maybe they actually enjoy seeing two of their friends who would otherwise never meet discover a common interest, or maybe even have a good argument, in the comment thread for something they posted. Maybe they're perfectly happy with "short snippets concurrently mixed together" and would derive less utility from your alternatives. It's awfully judgmental, and even a bit privileged, to assume that you're doing social life right and they're doing it wrong.
    - 9y ago
- ctdonath 9y ago
  Problem with Facebook is the difficulty of keeping circles separated, resulting in a frequent unwillingness to post. I often am unclear whether a potentially triggering post intended for a limited group will end up being broadly distributed, so often just don't or find another site to converse on.
qyv 9y ago
Do people honestly use FB to keep up with what others are doing? IMO it seems like the primary use-case is to let everyone else know about what you are doing.
- JasonFruit 9y ago
  I do, and it sounds like others do as well; it's the most common reason I've heard cited for why they won't delete their accounts.
joshcanhelp 9y ago
I quit for a number of reasons, excluding this one. It never occurred to me that keeping "up-to-date" in the way that you do on FB/Twitter/IG makes IRL less exciting. Once I had been off for a while and felt less self-conscious about being out of the loop, catching up was SO much more enjoyable! So was sending specific people specific photos over text. So was giving people in my life a chance to re-tell a story about something great that happened to them. It never occurred to me that I was missing out on that ...
lotsofcows 9y ago
Christ, I'm the opposite. I like Facebook for getting all the banal minutiae about kids and holidays and who's fucking whom out of the way so on the rare occasion I hook up with friends we can talk about whatever it was that drew us together in the first place.
- wybiral 9y ago
  Back when FB didn't exist... Friends didn't just talk about that kind of stuff either. That's like the typical smalltalk you make with people you don't really know, not conversations you have with friends. To me FB just seems like an extra dose of that unnecessary smalltalk mixed with self-promotion with the only real benefit being basically an address book.
  - lotsofcows 9y ago
    Before Facebook existed, if I didn't see someone for a year, I could pretty much guarantee I wouldn't see them again (barring odd coincidences). These days I can arrange to hook up with an old colleague through Facebook because of Facebook and via Facebook and know exactly where s/he is in terms of work/relationships/kids, without the social pressure to spout the traditional cliches.

wincy 9y ago

I think you hit the nail on the head. I was anxious quitting Facebook, but now that I have it feels so much more meaningful to meet with someone I haven't seen in months and have a nice lunch or dinner with them and catch up.

wybiral 9y ago
Catching up feels more important and seems to have more substance that way. The little snippets people share on FB probably are also less personal, imo. It's stuff they're announcing to everyone instead of sharing with you or a small group. It just doesn't feel like actually "keeping in touch" to me. Feels more like promoted content (from the people and the actual ads).

notacoward 9y ago

And what do you suggest for people who have broader circles of friends all over the world, and/or can't jet-set to visit them all periodically? A platform's utility to you might not equal its utility for others.

wybiral 9y ago
Fair enough. We all have different definitions of the words "friend" and "keep in touch". I have some friends who live too far away to visit that I do set some time aside to have an occasional video chat with.
randomdata 9y ago
Email, text messages, the telephone, and a million other similar services? I will point out that the parent seems to be referring to the posts that people make to no specific recipient. That is not keeping contact with your friends, this is watching your friend make an appearance on TV, so to speak. Admittedly neat the first time you see it, but the novelty quickly fades when they are "on TV" every day. Yes, Facebook Messenger and Groups do actually provide a decent service for keeping contact with friends around the world. You can absolutely use Facebook in that way, but, from the perspective of business longevity and health, does it really provide more than similar services that do the same? Personally, I'm not sure the network effects are as strong when talking about friends keeping in contact with each other. If I want to check in with a close friend who lives abroad, it is not a huge barrier to ask for their phone number or email address. And chances are I already have that information. The one value proposition that Facebook does have, in my option, is that it is the internet's "telephone book". For acquaintances that you want to contact and have to look them up to find them, it is a pretty good bet that you will find them on Facebook. But there is also plenty of competition here as well, such as Linkedin, which seems to embrace the "telephone book" concept even more so than Facebook.
- notacoward 9y ago
  > Email, text messages, the telephone, and a million other similar services? Mostly one to one, meaning more time investment if you want to reach a bunch of people with some news. Or maybe a mailing list you'd have to manage (which can be quite a chore thanks to spam). Dependency on high/reliable bandwidth for the video-char route. Again, utility to one might not equal utility to others. Some people have less free time to do everything in the way you or wybiral might, or maybe they just have different preferences. Maybe they actually enjoy seeing two of their friends who would otherwise never meet discover a common interest, or maybe even have a good argument, in the comment thread for something they posted. Maybe they're perfectly happy with "short snippets concurrently mixed together" and would derive less utility from your alternatives. It's awfully judgmental, and even a bit privileged, to assume that you're doing social life right and they're doing it wrong.
  - 9y ago
ctdonath 9y ago
Problem with Facebook is the difficulty of keeping circles separated, resulting in a frequent unwillingness to post. I often am unclear whether a potentially triggering post intended for a limited group will end up being broadly distributed, so often just don't or find another site to converse on.

qyv 9y ago

Do people honestly use FB to keep up with what others are doing? IMO it seems like the primary use-case is to let everyone else know about what you are doing.

JasonFruit 9y ago
I do, and it sounds like others do as well; it's the most common reason I've heard cited for why they won't delete their accounts.

joshcanhelp 9y ago

I quit for a number of reasons, excluding this one. It never occurred to me that keeping "up-to-date" in the way that you do on FB/Twitter/IG makes IRL less exciting. Once I had been off for a while and felt less self-conscious about being out of the loop, catching up was SO much more enjoyable! So was sending specific people specific photos over text. So was giving people in my life a chance to re-tell a story about something great that happened to them. It never occurred to me that I was missing out on that ...

lotsofcows 9y ago

Christ, I'm the opposite. I like Facebook for getting all the banal minutiae about kids and holidays and who's fucking whom out of the way so on the rare occasion I hook up with friends we can talk about whatever it was that drew us together in the first place.

wybiral 9y ago
Back when FB didn't exist... Friends didn't just talk about that kind of stuff either. That's like the typical smalltalk you make with people you don't really know, not conversations you have with friends. To me FB just seems like an extra dose of that unnecessary smalltalk mixed with self-promotion with the only real benefit being basically an address book.
- lotsofcows 9y ago
  Before Facebook existed, if I didn't see someone for a year, I could pretty much guarantee I wouldn't see them again (barring odd coincidences). These days I can arrange to hook up with an old colleague through Facebook because of Facebook and via Facebook and know exactly where s/he is in terms of work/relationships/kids, without the social pressure to spout the traditional cliches.