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Thank you for sharing your thoughts! My boss isn't punctual with his emails. My reply to Famous Company said that I just signed a contract for 2018, but they s

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! My boss isn't punctual with his emails. My reply to Famous Company said that I just signed a contract for 2018, but they still wanted to meet during a business trip in January. I'm busy during working hours, obviously, but I'm confident that I can ask my boss and get permission to leave the office to go and meet them. I feel uncomfortable not telling my boss though, because he's a friend. BTW, I grew up in Geneva and my parents are British, but I've had more work experience in Asia. Ironically, the person pursuing me is an Asian-American. The Famous Company isn't trying to blackmail. They didn't actually say "NDA", they said "significant legal paperwork... protects both parties". I don't care about a promotion, I just want a stable job. I know that in 2019, my boss wants me to move on (he already told me). I want to make sure I do this honestly, maintaining friendship with my boss, instead of sneaking behind his back and slipping out of the office unannounced.

eesmith 9y ago
My use of the term "blackmail" was related to them expressing possible negative consequences for you telling your boss about your conversation, and in the context of "seduction". When they sent their first email, they had no idea of if you would immediately go to your boss/friend to discuss things. Only when you told them of the possibility did they want to control what you did. It's best not to think of this as seduction, or in the context of a pretty girl flirting with you. It's a company looking to hire your services, when you already have obligations. Tell your boss. Don't tell Famous Company. If Famous Company asks you if you talked with your boss, say "of course I did - I want to make sure that I could take time off to meet with you without disrupting things at work." The only reasons I can think of for Famous Company to have you not talk with your boss are 1) they are poaching you so they can compete with your current company, and 2) they don't want your boss to offer a raise. Yes, you say you don't care about a promotion. But they don't know who you are or what you want. It's to their benefit for someone like you to be left in the dark about what your options are.
- peterburkimsher 9y ago
  Thank you. I'm so happy that there's opposite advice coming from you and siamtheman's top-level comment. Whatever I finally choose to do, I'm pleased that there's a variety of perspectives here on HN. Cultural diversity is a wonderful thing.

eesmith 9y ago

My use of the term "blackmail" was related to them expressing possible negative consequences for you telling your boss about your conversation, and in the context of "seduction". When they sent their first email, they had no idea of if you would immediately go to your boss/friend to discuss things. Only when you told them of the possibility did they want to control what you did. It's best not to think of this as seduction, or in the context of a pretty girl flirting with you. It's a company looking to hire your services, when you already have obligations. Tell your boss. Don't tell Famous Company. If Famous Company asks you if you talked with your boss, say "of course I did - I want to make sure that I could take time off to meet with you without disrupting things at work." The only reasons I can think of for Famous Company to have you not talk with your boss are 1) they are poaching you so they can compete with your current company, and 2) they don't want your boss to offer a raise. Yes, you say you don't care about a promotion. But they don't know who you are or what you want. It's to their benefit for someone like you to be left in the dark about what your options are.

peterburkimsher 9y ago
Thank you. I'm so happy that there's opposite advice coming from you and siamtheman's top-level comment. Whatever I finally choose to do, I'm pleased that there's a variety of perspectives here on HN. Cultural diversity is a wonderful thing.