function bullshit_translator(post) { if (/(next chapter|incredible journey)/.test(post.title)) { if (/new ceo/.test(post.content)) { return "I'm

function bullshit_translator(post) { if (/(next chapter|incredible journey)/.test(post.title)) { if (/new ceo/.test(post.content)) { return "I'm stepping down as CEO"; } else if (/joining/.test(post.content)) { return "We ran out of money and our VCs saved us and themselves by acq-hiring us to the company." + "Even though we made 0 money from this and will be stuck with this company for next 2 years for vesting," + "this is the part where you say 'Congrats!" + "so that I can call my self a 'serial entrepreneur' and put 'my company got acquired by XXX corp' on my resume" } } }