4 ms·

I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I do take women seriously, and one of my closest friends is also a badass dev who happens to be female. She confided in me on

I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I do take women seriously, and one of my closest friends is also a badass dev who happens to be female. She confided in me one day that feminism originally started out with the central idea that equality is for both women and men, and everyone else. But it has morphed, and it's feeling like people are simply gleeful whenever they hear stories of men whose lives have been ruined or who are living in fear because of their private consensual activities. This talk about "can't I flirt anymore?" and similar is just sad. Boohoo, of course you can flirt, but being socially awkward/stupid while doing it is what you can't. That means growing a social competence and empathy in general, then men wouldn't end up in these situations. We can't flirt in a professional setting anymore. Not without risking our jobs. But that's fine. It's better to separate the two.

watwut 9y ago
> We can't flirt in a professional setting anymore. Not without risking our jobs. Flirting and harassment are not the same. The meetoo stories I read were nowhere near grey zone. They were not consensual. I am sure there might be some, but I did not encountered them and they were not prominent. Funny how revelations of assault and stories about how female careers were stopped due to it got redefined as "flirting" on this forum. However, frankly, if true, nothing of value is lost. Flirting in workplace is exactly the same waste of time as gossiping at workplace or any other way of wasting time. If women showing pictures of her kids over lunch means she is perceived as unserious and less concerned with work, then man trying to get dates on-the-clock should be too. (Random example.) Also, your friend does not know much about history of feminism. Not sure what her being good developer has to do with topic of flirting or harassment.
- kjpy 9y ago
  SNL got the difference between flirting and harassment exactly right: https://youtu.be/PxuUkYiaUc8 https://youtu.be/PxuUkYiaUc8
  - watwut 9y ago
    Funny thing is that men in mostly males companies who don't interact with women unless it is weekend seem most afraid to loose ability to flirt at work.

watwut 9y ago

> We can't flirt in a professional setting anymore. Not without risking our jobs. Flirting and harassment are not the same. The meetoo stories I read were nowhere near grey zone. They were not consensual. I am sure there might be some, but I did not encountered them and they were not prominent. Funny how revelations of assault and stories about how female careers were stopped due to it got redefined as "flirting" on this forum. However, frankly, if true, nothing of value is lost. Flirting in workplace is exactly the same waste of time as gossiping at workplace or any other way of wasting time. If women showing pictures of her kids over lunch means she is perceived as unserious and less concerned with work, then man trying to get dates on-the-clock should be too. (Random example.) Also, your friend does not know much about history of feminism. Not sure what her being good developer has to do with topic of flirting or harassment.

kjpy 9y ago
SNL got the difference between flirting and harassment exactly right: https://youtu.be/PxuUkYiaUc8 https://youtu.be/PxuUkYiaUc8
- watwut 9y ago
  Funny thing is that men in mostly males companies who don't interact with women unless it is weekend seem most afraid to loose ability to flirt at work.