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It was a spur of the moment thing. I just didn't like feeling like I was asking for her number when it was only about the product. Obviously, this is a dumb wa

It was a spur of the moment thing. I just didn't like feeling like I was asking for her number when it was only about the product. Obviously, this is a dumb way to feel. But from what I've heard on HN and other places, this type of thing is starting to become more common. Men are starting to take precautions like never having a one on one meeting alone with a female coworker. How much worry is the correct amount of worry? We only get to make one mistake before we're labeled and it follows us around the rest of our lives.

ahkurtz 9y ago
What is a mistake, in your mind?
cobookman 9y ago
That's not a new thing. FYI there's a reason many conference rooms have glass windows and people have open door meetings.
jansho 9y ago
> But she offered first I think it’s mild paranoia. Don’t worry about it. As someone else said here, the best way is to pretend that you’re interacting with a male. Without the bro jokes..
- sillysaurus3 9y ago
  I'd agree, but... Well, she mistyped the number, then typed out a text and didn't send it. One hypothesis: it was creepy for some guy she just met while working on her product to be asking for her number. Which is true. You can't really pretend you're with a male, any more than women can pretend they're with a woman. I wish you could.
  - jansho 9y ago
    It’s entirely possible that you’re misreading the situation. Here’s my anecdote, which is similar to the girl’s: I used to be really tensed in public, and when I have to take a phone number from someone (networking event etc) I would fumble a lot, make all sorts of silly mistakes while feeling the intense pressure of the other watching me. Sometimes I give up, pretend that I’ve taken the details, and smile, half friendly, half apologetically. Then I’d go away feeling super bad. Now I understand that it was silly to feel pressured in the first place. But you know, it happens. >You can't really pretend you're interacting with a male Well yes, with practice. Just how you learnt to overlook skin colour, height, dreadlocks etc, by understanding that we’re all fundamentally humans. Can’t comment much about humour, I’m an ethnic minority so have the unusual advantage that some banters are forgivable ;)

ahkurtz 9y ago

What is a mistake, in your mind?

cobookman 9y ago

That's not a new thing. FYI there's a reason many conference rooms have glass windows and people have open door meetings.

jansho 9y ago

> But she offered first I think it’s mild paranoia. Don’t worry about it. As someone else said here, the best way is to pretend that you’re interacting with a male. Without the bro jokes..

sillysaurus3 9y ago
I'd agree, but... Well, she mistyped the number, then typed out a text and didn't send it. One hypothesis: it was creepy for some guy she just met while working on her product to be asking for her number. Which is true. You can't really pretend you're with a male, any more than women can pretend they're with a woman. I wish you could.
- jansho 9y ago
  It’s entirely possible that you’re misreading the situation. Here’s my anecdote, which is similar to the girl’s: I used to be really tensed in public, and when I have to take a phone number from someone (networking event etc) I would fumble a lot, make all sorts of silly mistakes while feeling the intense pressure of the other watching me. Sometimes I give up, pretend that I’ve taken the details, and smile, half friendly, half apologetically. Then I’d go away feeling super bad. Now I understand that it was silly to feel pressured in the first place. But you know, it happens. >You can't really pretend you're interacting with a male Well yes, with practice. Just how you learnt to overlook skin colour, height, dreadlocks etc, by understanding that we’re all fundamentally humans. Can’t comment much about humour, I’m an ethnic minority so have the unusual advantage that some banters are forgivable ;)