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> Also PICK YOUR CONFLICTS. Believe it or not, the child will want to do things differently than you do. Sometimes the way the kid wants to do it is alright, so
by jules 16y ago
> Also PICK YOUR CONFLICTS. Believe it or not, the child will want to do things differently than you do. Sometimes the way the kid wants to do it is alright, so let them have their way. The child NEEDS to feel some control over their life, give them inconsequential choices "red or blue shirt" fine it does not match, who cares.
This is very important. I don't have kids but I have been one. When I see parents micro managing their kids I feel sorry for them. Let your kids explore and decide and learn. Make "yes" the default answer.
- darnton 16y agoAbsolutely. Let your kids make mistakes. Let them do things wrong. Let them make odd decisions. The best thing you can do for your children is help them to become good decision makers and the best way to do that is to let them make lots of decisions. You can still make your values known and prevent damage and injury but let them do as much as possible and learn what works. A great introduction to this type of thinking is Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn.
- jessriedel 16y ago> Make "yes" the default answer. This is really the key idea. I am blown away by how many parents make themselves and their children miserable by just saying "no" without thinking about.