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This is good advice. In the words of the great George Carlin: "You want to know how to help your kids? Leave them the fuck alone." (See: http://harmful.cat-v.or

This is good advice. In the words of the great George Carlin: "You want to know how to help your kids? Leave them the fuck alone." (See: http://harmful.cat-v.org/society/children/fuck_the_children http://harmful.cat-v.org/society/children/fuck_the_children) Or another good article on the subject of leaving your kids alone: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/familyadvice/3355719/Idle-parenting-means-happy-children.html http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/familyadvice/3355719/Idle-... It's great advice.

bmj 16y ago
I agree, and follow the advice with my kids. But this is the key bit: When you have something to offer, maximize and concentrate that time, and then get the hell out of the way. I know some parents that kneejerk to helicopter parenting by not parenting at all. As with most things, neither pole is very effective.
scotty79 16y ago
> Kids don't smoke because a camel in sunglasses tells them to. They smoke for the same reasons adults do, because it's an enjoyable activity that relieves anxiety and depression. He totally lost me here.
- neutronicus 16y ago
  That is almost word-for-word why my sister told me that she started smoking at age 20.
  - GrandMasterBirt 16y ago
    Kids mimic you. You smoke, guess what your kids will think (the same thing I thought) "wow, everyone seems to be enjoying it, I wonder what the fuss is about". With my sister, I grew up telling her about what smoking feels like and the addiction. Guess why she does not smoke... Its not a big curiosity anymore for her, she just knows nothing good will come of it. She also tried (unsuccessfully) to get my mom to quit smoking. She understand addiction and why its bad to start. Once you realize just how much they mimic its incredible the things you can realize. When I saw my daughter standing idly doing the same little motions with her feet as I do when I stand Idly, I realized: Nothing too little will go unnoticed with the child, the child will pick up on everything I do and thus if I want her not to do it, I must MODEL the right way for her.
    - neutronicus 16y ago
      Neither I nor my parents smoke. My sister says that her peer group doesn't smoke and that, when she first started, she hid it from them. It was something she did by and for herself to cope with the anxiety of exams at college. She was anxious and depressed, and cigarettes helped. Just presenting a data point in favor of the assertion that the great-grandparent post dismissed.
  - scotty79 16y ago
    That's something smoker might say to rationalize his/her choice when he/she had any choice to make. Nicotine only alleviates anxiety caused by lack of nicotine. Instead starting smoking she could withhold her pee to feel greater relief when she finally pees. It would be just as much help in coping with life stress as cigarettes are.

bmj 16y ago

I agree, and follow the advice with my kids. But this is the key bit: When you have something to offer, maximize and concentrate that time, and then get the hell out of the way. I know some parents that kneejerk to helicopter parenting by not parenting at all. As with most things, neither pole is very effective.

scotty79 16y ago

> Kids don't smoke because a camel in sunglasses tells them to. They smoke for the same reasons adults do, because it's an enjoyable activity that relieves anxiety and depression. He totally lost me here.

neutronicus 16y ago
That is almost word-for-word why my sister told me that she started smoking at age 20.
- GrandMasterBirt 16y ago
  Kids mimic you. You smoke, guess what your kids will think (the same thing I thought) "wow, everyone seems to be enjoying it, I wonder what the fuss is about". With my sister, I grew up telling her about what smoking feels like and the addiction. Guess why she does not smoke... Its not a big curiosity anymore for her, she just knows nothing good will come of it. She also tried (unsuccessfully) to get my mom to quit smoking. She understand addiction and why its bad to start. Once you realize just how much they mimic its incredible the things you can realize. When I saw my daughter standing idly doing the same little motions with her feet as I do when I stand Idly, I realized: Nothing too little will go unnoticed with the child, the child will pick up on everything I do and thus if I want her not to do it, I must MODEL the right way for her.
  - neutronicus 16y ago
    Neither I nor my parents smoke. My sister says that her peer group doesn't smoke and that, when she first started, she hid it from them. It was something she did by and for herself to cope with the anxiety of exams at college. She was anxious and depressed, and cigarettes helped. Just presenting a data point in favor of the assertion that the great-grandparent post dismissed.
- scotty79 16y ago
  That's something smoker might say to rationalize his/her choice when he/she had any choice to make. Nicotine only alleviates anxiety caused by lack of nicotine. Instead starting smoking she could withhold her pee to feel greater relief when she finally pees. It would be just as much help in coping with life stress as cigarettes are.