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I’m sorry the author feels this way. I can’t help to feel that she’s trying to draw sympathy to herself. That is very sad, that is stress she doesn’t need. My

I’m sorry the author feels this way. I can’t help to feel that she’s trying to draw sympathy to herself. That is very sad, that is stress she doesn’t need. My father was a paraplegic due to a military injury. Growing up he was a great role model because it never slowed him down. He has never expected, nor demanded anyone accommodate him. I always wondered why. I finally asked him. He explained that it’s morally wrong to demand or require someone to change their way of doing business/practice for him — something very rare. He further explained those who want to go out of their way to accommodate him out of true appreciation for his business are people with true high moral standards and those are the people he would rather do business with.

sudosteph 9y ago
Did you actually read the link? Seems like she very specifically wants to draw LESS sympathy for herself, at least over this. From her description, her husband doesn't seem keen on letting his disability slow him down or prevent him from living life either. As far as the demanding accommodations go, I think ramped entrances and handicapped parking spots are pretty reasonable standards, ones which have been legally mandated for many years now. While I commend your father for finding folks who respect him to do business with, I cannot agree that it is morally wrong to demand equal access. The American Civil Rights Act of 1964, and the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act both exist because it was determined that equal access to public businesses and accommodations is a moral imperative, and a right even. I don't think the author is out of line for being frustrated that in 2017 it's still difficult to do something as benign as go out to eat with someone who uses a wheelchair.
- adam-seeliger 9y ago
  Posting a public article is seeking sympathy. If I were her husband, I would be upset at her for opening private family matters to the public. Ramp access, parking spaces, etc, is not an unreasonable expectation at all. But to demand it is another thing. It shouldn’t be a law, but that’s just my opinion. It is law. The funny thing is the disability act has made it worse for those who would really benefit from it. And yes, going out to dinner in a wheelchair is uncomfortable and difficult. That will never change. The fact is that most people are not in that situation. So most establishments don’t often deal with it. That’s the way it is. So, I guess that’s the point my dad was making. Restaurants are mandated to accommodate, if they want to or not. You can tell those who are just following the law. They have no little to no appreciation for the business in someone’s unusual situation. But there are those restaurant owners who really make accommodation a part of their business culture and really want and appreciate people in such a situation. Those really do make it easy and comfortable for people in that situation. Bottom line — there is no blanket right answer. It can’t be answered with legislation. But you can find people who go above and beyond.
- passw0rd 9y ago
  adam-seeliger deleted a comment it appears, but I'll respond to what was there anyway. No, I'm not embarrassed that my wife wrote this -- it's brilliant writing. No, I'm not embarrassed that she "aired our private lives in public." She didn't. Why would I be embarrassed that my wife writes about my spinal cord injury? Sounds like maybe your father was ashamed of his paraplegia, in which case I'm sorry he felt that way. That is why we need articles like this and more ramps, so people like your father don't feel ashamed of their disabilities.
writer618 9y ago
He would rather keep his full-time job with its handicapped parking. thankfully required by law, than wait around for someone to "go out of their way" to accommodate him out of the goodness of their heart. Also, I shudder to think what would happen if everyone waited around for grocery stores, gas stations, etc., to "go out of their way" to accommodate people. That would just keep people in their homes and on state support, which we thankfully don't need at all because of the laws about accommodation.
passw0rd 9y ago
"Sorry she feels that way." What way? That we don't need your pity or sympathy, just a ramp? That's the only point she makes. I really don't understand your comment; it seems like you commented without reading the article.

sudosteph 9y ago

Did you actually read the link? Seems like she very specifically wants to draw LESS sympathy for herself, at least over this. From her description, her husband doesn't seem keen on letting his disability slow him down or prevent him from living life either. As far as the demanding accommodations go, I think ramped entrances and handicapped parking spots are pretty reasonable standards, ones which have been legally mandated for many years now. While I commend your father for finding folks who respect him to do business with, I cannot agree that it is morally wrong to demand equal access. The American Civil Rights Act of 1964, and the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act both exist because it was determined that equal access to public businesses and accommodations is a moral imperative, and a right even. I don't think the author is out of line for being frustrated that in 2017 it's still difficult to do something as benign as go out to eat with someone who uses a wheelchair.

adam-seeliger 9y ago
Posting a public article is seeking sympathy. If I were her husband, I would be upset at her for opening private family matters to the public. Ramp access, parking spaces, etc, is not an unreasonable expectation at all. But to demand it is another thing. It shouldn’t be a law, but that’s just my opinion. It is law. The funny thing is the disability act has made it worse for those who would really benefit from it. And yes, going out to dinner in a wheelchair is uncomfortable and difficult. That will never change. The fact is that most people are not in that situation. So most establishments don’t often deal with it. That’s the way it is. So, I guess that’s the point my dad was making. Restaurants are mandated to accommodate, if they want to or not. You can tell those who are just following the law. They have no little to no appreciation for the business in someone’s unusual situation. But there are those restaurant owners who really make accommodation a part of their business culture and really want and appreciate people in such a situation. Those really do make it easy and comfortable for people in that situation. Bottom line — there is no blanket right answer. It can’t be answered with legislation. But you can find people who go above and beyond.
passw0rd 9y ago
adam-seeliger deleted a comment it appears, but I'll respond to what was there anyway. No, I'm not embarrassed that my wife wrote this -- it's brilliant writing. No, I'm not embarrassed that she "aired our private lives in public." She didn't. Why would I be embarrassed that my wife writes about my spinal cord injury? Sounds like maybe your father was ashamed of his paraplegia, in which case I'm sorry he felt that way. That is why we need articles like this and more ramps, so people like your father don't feel ashamed of their disabilities.

writer618 9y ago

He would rather keep his full-time job with its handicapped parking. thankfully required by law, than wait around for someone to "go out of their way" to accommodate him out of the goodness of their heart. Also, I shudder to think what would happen if everyone waited around for grocery stores, gas stations, etc., to "go out of their way" to accommodate people. That would just keep people in their homes and on state support, which we thankfully don't need at all because of the laws about accommodation.

passw0rd 9y ago

"Sorry she feels that way." What way? That we don't need your pity or sympathy, just a ramp? That's the only point she makes. I really don't understand your comment; it seems like you commented without reading the article.