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I had a vasectomy two years ago at the age of 29. I don’t know if I’m an anti-natalist, as I try not to wax philosophical about my personal choices and feelings

by cko 9y ago

I had a vasectomy two years ago at the age of 29. I don’t know if I’m an anti-natalist, as I try not to wax philosophical about my personal choices and feelings. People are diverse. I am close friends with people with kids, and sometimes I go to their softball games. I’m happy to see the kids’ triumphs and sad to see them struggle, but these feelings must pale in comparison to the roller coaster a parent must feel. Not to mention I have this Catcher in the Rye mentality of wishing childlike innocence was forever preserved. Which I know won’t happen. Then again I’m sad when I see adults with childlike naivety suffer because reality does not discriminate. I’ve also done my fair share of taking care of old people. They are usually not the wise happy people that I imagine comes with aging - they are lonely, impatient, anxious, stubborn - basically human but with declining faculties. I’ll always be haunted by the image of my grandmother wandering around in the dark, confused, holding a diaper in one hand, with wild hair and unsteady gait. Watching people eat is also sad. Hunger... oh the humanity. The humanity of everything, really. Life is just suffering punctuated by the briefest moments of relief. I’m not depressed... I don’t think.

hi41 9y ago
cko, I am not trying to pry into your personal life but I found your comment very noticeable. Was vasectomy a choice you made to remain childless or was the surgery the result of pressures of life that removed any choice. You could have chosen not to undergo the surgery and still remain childless. You can choose to ignore this question if you don't want to answer it.
- cko 9y ago
  I like the question, no one’s ever worded it like that before, but I would say it’s a bit of both. That is, I never wanted children and I also didn’t want any accidents down the road. And I know if I did have children I’d feel less free. That said, I must say I feel extremely blessed in life in terms of aptitude and finances, however.

by cko 9y ago

hi41 9y ago

cko, I am not trying to pry into your personal life but I found your comment very noticeable. Was vasectomy a choice you made to remain childless or was the surgery the result of pressures of life that removed any choice. You could have chosen not to undergo the surgery and still remain childless. You can choose to ignore this question if you don't want to answer it.

cko 9y ago
I like the question, no one’s ever worded it like that before, but I would say it’s a bit of both. That is, I never wanted children and I also didn’t want any accidents down the road. And I know if I did have children I’d feel less free. That said, I must say I feel extremely blessed in life in terms of aptitude and finances, however.