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Why Social Media Is Not Smart for Middle School Kids

34 points by attawahid 9y ago

intopieces 9y ago
Should the minimum age for social media be 18? The minimum is current 13, per COPPA.
- CM30 9y ago
  Nah, it'd basically be impossible to enforce, and usage of it in moderation seems perfectly fine. I mean, how many people do you actually know who care about COPPA or the age restrictions associated with? Probably not very many; even in the olden forums of internet forums most kids just said they were in their 20s or 30s and skipped past any terms and conditions.
  - intopieces 9y ago
    >It'd basically be impossible to enforce, Microsoft's Face API can detect age. https://azure.microsoft.com/en-us/services/cognitive-services/face/ https://azure.microsoft.com/en-us/services/cognitive-service... So, automatically flag accounts with a face that is <18, and force age verification. Facebook already has identity verification mechanisms.
kcorbitt 9y ago
> A tween's underdeveloped frontal cortex can’t manage the distraction nor the temptations that come with social media use. Can any of us? Personally, I have to resort to all sorts of tricks to keep myself from spending far too long browsing social media feeds. They're frighteningly good at what they do.
- incompatible 9y ago
  Those of us who aren't so excited about socialising, I suppose.
firstplacelast 9y ago
All of their reasons why social media is bad for middle schoolers are all highly relevant to many/(most?) adults I meet. Not sure if that says great things about middle schoolers or bad things about adults. In my experience, parents like these that need to turn their child into an “other” and can’t see how their own behavior is very similar if not the same as the child 20-30years their junior, are just really bad parents. They’re very oblivious. Maybe that’s why they have to write these articles so they can try and signal to people that they aren’t as awful at parenting as they truly are.
arikr 9y ago
While I think I agree with the title, I didn't find the content of this post to be particularly useful. Does anyone have effective strategies for getting the kid to not want to use social media as much?
- dusing 9y ago
  We have taken the approach of not allowing our middle school children to have any social media accounts. iMessage and facetime have created enough teachable moments, hopefully by the time they do get social accounts we will have covered the basic dos and don'ts We also make them charge their phones in a room away from them at 8pm each night. Not a lot of good things can happen on facetime late at night for a middle schooler.
- xraystyle 9y ago
  No, because social media is purpose-built to be as addictive as possible.
Kenji 9y ago
Bullshit. I had unfiltered access to the internet as a kid and I absolutely used it and it contributed to my personal growth like nothing else. But my parents limited my PC access times and that only held me back. Do not delay your kid's internet access. Don't stalk your kids - give them room to play around and make mistakes. Don't follow their every step and install spy applications - you will forever destroy their trust. The internet is a place where you can meet incredibly interesting people and it is a place where you can get unlimited free education. As a parent, you would be stupid to hold your kid back! The only rule I had as a kid was: "Don't give anyone on the internet our names or address or any personal information like that." But most of all: Do not expect or even force them to live the ascetic life you couldn't even dream of living.
methodover 9y ago
Parental handwringing is dangerous. I can speak to it in my own life-- my parents actually kept me from using a computer for any reason other than homework for a significant portion of my high school years. I didn't discover programming until I was 24. I don't know if I would've discovered it in High School, but it seems likely that it wouldn't have taken as long as it did. I've always felt behind the curve in my career, struggling. I think part of the blame rests with my parents keeping me from technology growing up.
mastazi 9y ago
I suppose the article is written by someone in the US? If so middle school is (in most states) from year 6 or 7 to year 8 or 9, i.e. roughly equivalent (for those who live in a country where middle school doesn't exist) to the last year of primary and the first couple of years of high, see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_education_in_the_United_States#Middle_school_.2F_Junior_high_school https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_education_in_the_Uni...
- JeanMarcS 9y ago
  Is giving smartphone to 7 yo a thing ? A friend of mine have an iPhone to his kid on his 9th birthday and, despite the fact that his son is really smart, I thought it was way to early to give a child a smartphone. The parents were going through a divorce, so it was a classical « I’m better than your mom » bad attitude, but still. I hope when the times come my own kids won’t be to needy on this, because I’m thinking like the author of the post and if I can, they’re going to wait sometimes before getting any. After all, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs prohibited smartphones and pads for their kids. There’s a reason behind that...
  - mastazi 9y ago
    I just realised that my previous comment might be confusing: "year 7" is the 7th year of schooling so, (depending on the country) kids would be around 10 to 12 years of age.

34 points by attawahid 9y ago

intopieces 9y ago

Should the minimum age for social media be 18? The minimum is current 13, per COPPA.

CM30 9y ago
Nah, it'd basically be impossible to enforce, and usage of it in moderation seems perfectly fine. I mean, how many people do you actually know who care about COPPA or the age restrictions associated with? Probably not very many; even in the olden forums of internet forums most kids just said they were in their 20s or 30s and skipped past any terms and conditions.
- intopieces 9y ago
  >It'd basically be impossible to enforce, Microsoft's Face API can detect age. https://azure.microsoft.com/en-us/services/cognitive-services/face/ https://azure.microsoft.com/en-us/services/cognitive-service... So, automatically flag accounts with a face that is <18, and force age verification. Facebook already has identity verification mechanisms.

kcorbitt 9y ago

> A tween's underdeveloped frontal cortex can’t manage the distraction nor the temptations that come with social media use. Can any of us? Personally, I have to resort to all sorts of tricks to keep myself from spending far too long browsing social media feeds. They're frighteningly good at what they do.

incompatible 9y ago
Those of us who aren't so excited about socialising, I suppose.

firstplacelast 9y ago

All of their reasons why social media is bad for middle schoolers are all highly relevant to many/(most?) adults I meet. Not sure if that says great things about middle schoolers or bad things about adults. In my experience, parents like these that need to turn their child into an “other” and can’t see how their own behavior is very similar if not the same as the child 20-30years their junior, are just really bad parents. They’re very oblivious. Maybe that’s why they have to write these articles so they can try and signal to people that they aren’t as awful at parenting as they truly are.

arikr 9y ago

While I think I agree with the title, I didn't find the content of this post to be particularly useful. Does anyone have effective strategies for getting the kid to not want to use social media as much?

dusing 9y ago
We have taken the approach of not allowing our middle school children to have any social media accounts. iMessage and facetime have created enough teachable moments, hopefully by the time they do get social accounts we will have covered the basic dos and don'ts We also make them charge their phones in a room away from them at 8pm each night. Not a lot of good things can happen on facetime late at night for a middle schooler.
xraystyle 9y ago
No, because social media is purpose-built to be as addictive as possible.

Kenji 9y ago

Bullshit. I had unfiltered access to the internet as a kid and I absolutely used it and it contributed to my personal growth like nothing else. But my parents limited my PC access times and that only held me back. Do not delay your kid's internet access. Don't stalk your kids - give them room to play around and make mistakes. Don't follow their every step and install spy applications - you will forever destroy their trust. The internet is a place where you can meet incredibly interesting people and it is a place where you can get unlimited free education. As a parent, you would be stupid to hold your kid back! The only rule I had as a kid was: "Don't give anyone on the internet our names or address or any personal information like that." But most of all: Do not expect or even force them to live the ascetic life you couldn't even dream of living.

methodover 9y ago

Parental handwringing is dangerous. I can speak to it in my own life-- my parents actually kept me from using a computer for any reason other than homework for a significant portion of my high school years. I didn't discover programming until I was 24. I don't know if I would've discovered it in High School, but it seems likely that it wouldn't have taken as long as it did. I've always felt behind the curve in my career, struggling. I think part of the blame rests with my parents keeping me from technology growing up.

mastazi 9y ago

I suppose the article is written by someone in the US? If so middle school is (in most states) from year 6 or 7 to year 8 or 9, i.e. roughly equivalent (for those who live in a country where middle school doesn't exist) to the last year of primary and the first couple of years of high, see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_education_in_the_United_States#Middle_school_.2F_Junior_high_school https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_education_in_the_Uni...

JeanMarcS 9y ago
Is giving smartphone to 7 yo a thing ? A friend of mine have an iPhone to his kid on his 9th birthday and, despite the fact that his son is really smart, I thought it was way to early to give a child a smartphone. The parents were going through a divorce, so it was a classical « I’m better than your mom » bad attitude, but still. I hope when the times come my own kids won’t be to needy on this, because I’m thinking like the author of the post and if I can, they’re going to wait sometimes before getting any. After all, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs prohibited smartphones and pads for their kids. There’s a reason behind that...
- mastazi 9y ago
  I just realised that my previous comment might be confusing: "year 7" is the 7th year of schooling so, (depending on the country) kids would be around 10 to 12 years of age.