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Not 'spot on' - it's 'totally wrong'. Being isolated is a social function that has nothing to do with marriage. At least within a family there is a micro comm

Not 'spot on' - it's 'totally wrong'. Being isolated is a social function that has nothing to do with marriage. At least within a family there is a micro community. There's no reason not to be active and engaged as families. If anything - the 'problem' is modernity and consumer culture. When people lived in villages, and everyone knew everyone - it may not have been great, but I suggest people were less lonely. Even the more isolated people in small towns - have places they can go 'where everyone knows their name'. This is fulfilling - to know that 'people care' even if they don't know you very well. It's something to be 85 years old in a town where basically every resident knows you, and knows about you.

iamcasen 9y ago
I agree with what you're saying. I think the author was wrong in trying to pin it completely on the "nuclear family." I was more or less agreeing with the notion that many of us pursue this path to self-sufficiency with our nuclear families. We buy our own house. Do our own laundry, our own cooking and yard work, our own house repairs, etc, etc. After all that work, I personally find I have little time and energy to socialize. So then we work harder so we can afford services like maids and gardeners. I think the answer is akin to what the author mentions: we need a village! It would be great if I used my handy skills to help my neighbors, and the local green thumb helped me with my yard in turn. It would be great if a retired woman in the neighborhood wanted to help take care of the babies for a night while my wife and I go out. Back in the days of villages, this was how it worked. Now, along with the consumerist culture you mentioned, and the dogma about self-sufficiency, we are all working ourselves to death.
- alexasmyths 9y ago
  I think you said it better than I. Existential problems: + We don't put a number value on these things, so it doesn't work into the GDP, ergo, things that do have a numbered value get overrepresented in policy making. This is how 'big business' and business/libertarian types move against communities without realizing it. + 'Old' cultural artifacts come with a lot of baggage (ie gender, sexuality), and it's hard to change - so lefty progressive types like to discount almost anything 'traditional' in favour of modern 'culturally secular' values of their own intellectual making. But they throw the baby out with the bathwater. This to me is how progressive type people and thinkers move against communities without realizing it. I am originally from a very small town, and I go back often, and I am very thankful for it. What scares me the most about modern culture - is the suburban kids I know have the concept of 'community' completely erased from their cultural knowledge after only one generation in the 'new world'. These are the types that get sold 'Starbucks' as being some kind of legit 'community meeting spot'. They don't grasp that the 'warm glow of a Starbucks' is manufactured in a marketing meeting! Ok, enough with my 'I'm getting old' rants :)
  - iamcasen 9y ago
    We are very much in alignment. I wish there were more folks that think the way you do -- then we might actually find good solutions to these issues. I am one of those suburban kids, but thankfully as an adult I've learned how important community is, and I've been in search of it ever since. You've hit the nail on the head with the baggage that comes with cultural traditions. That's one of the things that makes finding community very difficult. I honestly think kids these days view online communities as the most important, since they have much more freedom to "go there" and meet others without the restrictions of having mom drop them off, or even more broadly, without the geographical restrictions they might have. Unfortunately, online communities can't make up for face-to-face bonding, affection, or support.

iamcasen 9y ago

I agree with what you're saying. I think the author was wrong in trying to pin it completely on the "nuclear family." I was more or less agreeing with the notion that many of us pursue this path to self-sufficiency with our nuclear families. We buy our own house. Do our own laundry, our own cooking and yard work, our own house repairs, etc, etc. After all that work, I personally find I have little time and energy to socialize. So then we work harder so we can afford services like maids and gardeners. I think the answer is akin to what the author mentions: we need a village! It would be great if I used my handy skills to help my neighbors, and the local green thumb helped me with my yard in turn. It would be great if a retired woman in the neighborhood wanted to help take care of the babies for a night while my wife and I go out. Back in the days of villages, this was how it worked. Now, along with the consumerist culture you mentioned, and the dogma about self-sufficiency, we are all working ourselves to death.

alexasmyths 9y ago
I think you said it better than I. Existential problems: + We don't put a number value on these things, so it doesn't work into the GDP, ergo, things that do have a numbered value get overrepresented in policy making. This is how 'big business' and business/libertarian types move against communities without realizing it. + 'Old' cultural artifacts come with a lot of baggage (ie gender, sexuality), and it's hard to change - so lefty progressive types like to discount almost anything 'traditional' in favour of modern 'culturally secular' values of their own intellectual making. But they throw the baby out with the bathwater. This to me is how progressive type people and thinkers move against communities without realizing it. I am originally from a very small town, and I go back often, and I am very thankful for it. What scares me the most about modern culture - is the suburban kids I know have the concept of 'community' completely erased from their cultural knowledge after only one generation in the 'new world'. These are the types that get sold 'Starbucks' as being some kind of legit 'community meeting spot'. They don't grasp that the 'warm glow of a Starbucks' is manufactured in a marketing meeting! Ok, enough with my 'I'm getting old' rants :)
- iamcasen 9y ago
  We are very much in alignment. I wish there were more folks that think the way you do -- then we might actually find good solutions to these issues. I am one of those suburban kids, but thankfully as an adult I've learned how important community is, and I've been in search of it ever since. You've hit the nail on the head with the baggage that comes with cultural traditions. That's one of the things that makes finding community very difficult. I honestly think kids these days view online communities as the most important, since they have much more freedom to "go there" and meet others without the restrictions of having mom drop them off, or even more broadly, without the geographical restrictions they might have. Unfortunately, online communities can't make up for face-to-face bonding, affection, or support.