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Being part of a Nuclear family doesn't mean that you can't branch out and be more involved in a community. Raising kids is hard, and can be lonely but also give

Being part of a Nuclear family doesn't mean that you can't branch out and be more involved in a community. Raising kids is hard, and can be lonely but also gives you a strong bond and shared experience to talk to a HUGE part of the world and make introductions. The community, layout of housing, etc are all extremely impactful on this. So too, is the ability of the community to organize. You can have a GREAT community in a cookie cutter suburb. This is especially true if you have communal gathering areas like a pool, park, etc. I guess what I'm saying is that the Nuclear family is not the underlying reason for any of this. The ability to be alone if one wants to be alone for all things (think about how technology has basically enabled you to function without any human interaction if you choose, and people DO choose this), and the idea that you're being rude by taking the risk of saying hello is a larger cause. EDIT/ corollary: Advice to new parents - try to find a place with other young families. They're all looking for this connection. These are some of the strongest networks that you will find especially if they live in close proximity.

markshead 9y ago
At the bottom of her post she says she did just what you suggest. She started interacting with other people. I don't think the whole "nuclear family causes misery" thing made much sense. She evidently didn't either since her solution to being lonely was to go do things with other people rather than trying to change her family social unit.
- Bartweiss 9y ago
  Honestly, that author's note at the bottom reads a lot like "this whole post is wrong, but I already wrote it." If joining shared-interest groups solves isolation induced misery, then the nuclear family isn't an irreparable problem. It's at worst one factor in broader atomization, and should be viewed as such.
mamoswined 9y ago
I have a very weird perspective because both my parents worked from home AND homeschooled us. We did a lot of church activities and swim team. We were 0% lonely, in fact I longed to be alone as a kid ;)
- jdavis703 9y ago
  And I was homeschooled by a single mom who obviously had to also work to put food on the table and a roof over our head. I'd say I was 95% lonely. In general kids need the socialization an organized school would provide.
  - mamoswined 9y ago
    Wow that must have been difficult. I would personally not homeschool my own kids, but I think it's a good option in certain situations. I'd like to send my own kids to a school, but one that's maybe more a "hippie" school that allows them ample free time and activity.
eitally 9y ago
If you're part of a nuclear family in urban/suburban America, you'll notice that neighborhoods tend to turn over at about the pace children go through K-12 school. That is, new developments are frequently bought up by new parents (or aspiring couples), then the houses start turning over in 8-12 years as kids grow up. It's a natural cycle.

markshead 9y ago

At the bottom of her post she says she did just what you suggest. She started interacting with other people. I don't think the whole "nuclear family causes misery" thing made much sense. She evidently didn't either since her solution to being lonely was to go do things with other people rather than trying to change her family social unit.

Bartweiss 9y ago
Honestly, that author's note at the bottom reads a lot like "this whole post is wrong, but I already wrote it." If joining shared-interest groups solves isolation induced misery, then the nuclear family isn't an irreparable problem. It's at worst one factor in broader atomization, and should be viewed as such.

mamoswined 9y ago

I have a very weird perspective because both my parents worked from home AND homeschooled us. We did a lot of church activities and swim team. We were 0% lonely, in fact I longed to be alone as a kid ;)

jdavis703 9y ago
And I was homeschooled by a single mom who obviously had to also work to put food on the table and a roof over our head. I'd say I was 95% lonely. In general kids need the socialization an organized school would provide.
- mamoswined 9y ago
  Wow that must have been difficult. I would personally not homeschool my own kids, but I think it's a good option in certain situations. I'd like to send my own kids to a school, but one that's maybe more a "hippie" school that allows them ample free time and activity.

eitally 9y ago

If you're part of a nuclear family in urban/suburban America, you'll notice that neighborhoods tend to turn over at about the pace children go through K-12 school. That is, new developments are frequently bought up by new parents (or aspiring couples), then the houses start turning over in 8-12 years as kids grow up. It's a natural cycle.