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Why do we rationalize with Children and punish teenagers? We must build trust with our children. Research has shown that this is the key, especially for childr
by baldfat 9y ago
Why do we rationalize with Children and punish teenagers? We must build trust with our children. Research has shown that this is the key, especially for children of abuse.
To me (Father of Five, two biological and three foster) this is 100% flipped upside down and isn't well researched nor universal.
My foster kids had horrible environment growing up and every kind of abuse. Their mother murdered 8 blocks from our house by a baseball bat to her head while the children were in my home. Children raised from abuse would actually be harmed by this.
Children need to learn 100% but not through non-developmentally appropriate techniques. Kids learn through play doing in a safe and purposeful manner. This is neither purposeful nor safe. They need to know that they must use gentle hands and bodies, be respectful to each other and pick up after themselves.
If it doesn't work for abused or special needs children it isn't universal. This is what good research looks like for parenting. https://child.tcu.edu/about-us/research/#sthash.6ctKjxoi.dpbs https://child.tcu.edu/about-us/research/#sthash.6ctKjxoi.dpb...
1) We have children ask and not tell what they want
2) Parenting is hard and demanding and we invest in it
3) Kids will look at you when you are speaking with them (FOr building up relationship)
4) Redirect bad behavior by having the child redo in the correct behavior. Not yelling or demanding. Scripting
5) Socialize interaction with competent adult and ability to play properly with other children.
https://youtu.be/XGqwz8L6JBo?t=8m6s https://youtu.be/XGqwz8L6JBo?t=8m6s
https://youtu.be/XGqwz8L6JBo?t=8m6s https://youtu.be/XGqwz8L6JBo?t=8m6s
- comstock 9y agoI agree, but parenting is a hard job which society often doesn’t seem to value very highly. In this community I’ve literary heard someone say “Machine learning is very important for the future of humanity, so I can’t spend time looking after my child”. For me it’s all about investing time, and the long game. Looking after, being patent and educating a child for a couple of hours isn’t too hard. Doing that for 10s of hours every day, particularly with young children, is much harder. It’s even harder when that work is systematically devalued.
- DanBC 9y agoYou speak about universality, but then say this: > 3) Kids will look at you when you are speaking with them (FOr building up relationship) Autistic people sometimes have trouble making eye contact when you're speaking. Some black people are taught that direct eye contact in some situations is a display of defiance, and is to be avoided.
- baldfat 9y agoHaving worked with autistic children for several years it is actually apart of their treatment plan for them to learn to look at people in their eyes. https://www.autismspeaks.org/blog/2015/07/17/why-it-so-hard-someone-autism-make-eye-contact https://www.autismspeaks.org/blog/2015/07/17/why-it-so-hard-...
- DanBC 9y agoAnd recent research tells us that approach might be cruel and pointless. http://dart.ed.ac.uk/app-eye-contact/ http://dart.ed.ac.uk/app-eye-contact/ https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-03378-5 https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-03378-5 The fact you quote Autism Speaks is telling - it's hated by many autistic people precisely because it pushes this "cure for autism" bullshit.
- baldfat 9y agoThe research is clear it helps children. The controversy is, is it worth it. 99% of the time it is worth it. > The fact you quote Autism Speaks is telling Yes vaccines DON'T cause Autism. You say it does then your also into other pseudo-science and controversies. The science is clear vaccines don't cause autism.