4 ms·

>My father raised a family of 6 making ~$30k/yr at his peak If you're in the US, how are your parents faring for retirement? Are you and your siblings helping

by xor1 9y ago

>My father raised a family of 6 making ~$30k/yr at his peak If you're in the US, how are your parents faring for retirement? Are you and your siblings helping out?

mberning 9y ago
My dad retired and had a modest 401k. He also gets social security now. My mom works part time in the kitchen for the local school district. They are doing ok! I imagine they will come live with my wife and I when they are ready. I won’t put them in a home.
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
- xor1 9y ago
  What about the rest of your siblings? Are they going to help? I ask because my parents are retired, and they are nearing the age where they will need assistance. It's just going to be my sister and I when it comes time to deal with figuring out what we are going to do. My mother has been financially dependent on my father throughout their entire relationship. I currently live near them and visit once a week, but I don't see how I can afford to stay in the area if I want to start a family of my own, unless I find a partner that earns around as much as I do so that we can clear $300k+ a year. Modest starter homes in a neighborhood with both decent schools and a commute time under an hour to where the jobs start at $700k. My sister and I also have to figure out how we are going to deal with my mom's relatives, who currently barely want anything to do with her, but will be ready to take advantage of her once my dad passes (assuming he passes away first -- I'm quite sure he will), and she's the main holder of everything. I already saw it happen with both of my grandmothers, so this isn't just unfounded pessimism. Both sides of my family are full of shitty people. I absolutely do not mind every single cent in their networth being used to care for my mother in old age. I do mind that money being mismanaged and wasted, especially if that results in her needing more than what was originally set aside by my father.
  - pm90 9y ago
    You should absolutely have an honest conversation with her about her finances and talk to both of them about at least informing you about any changes they wish to make before they make them. Old people are very impressionable, and there are some very shitty people out there who give bad advice. They also scare easily, so they might take all their money out of their accounts when the market starts to go down even a little. Apologies, no harm intended towards older people, just have seen a lot of them get screwed over. e.g. my managers Mom had all her (late) husbands retirement money in a pretty great account which was sponsored by her husbands company. But her friend convinced her to take it all out and hold it in cash, which turned out to be really really bad advice.
pishpash 9y ago
If he did that then he had government support out the wazoo and free meals in the school as a child and all sorts of benefits.
- mberning 9y ago
  Yes we were on food stamps and WIC for several years when my two youngest siblings were born. Never on welfare. We got reduced lunch at school. It was about $0.50 if I remember correctly. What’s the point though? If anything there are more benefit programs today than were available then. At $100k/yr you really should not be eligible for much benefit when you consider how much better you are doing than average.
  - tedivm 9y ago
    Food stamps and WIC are welfare. What exactly do you think welfare is?
    - Spooky23 9y ago
      Usually temporary assistance, which is when you get cash is considered welfare. Most people who understand this stuff don’t consider safety net programs like food stamps or WIC that way. The difference is that the Food stamps/WIC allow you to work, and most people on them do. “Welfare” requires you to not work in order to get a benefit. The most vociferous disgust regarding people on welfare usually comes from people who you would consider to be on “welfare”.
      - tedivm 9y ago
        That is a pretty ridiculous definition, and isn't even self consistent. With the exception of disability insurance and unemployment the majority of welfare programs (including where people just get direct cash) are income based (meaning people are allowed to work, but if their income rises above certain levels they lose some of the benefits). Food stamps are exactly the same, as is the reduced price lunches mentioned. If his parents made more money they would lose access to those welfare benefits.

by xor1 9y ago

>My father raised a family of 6 making ~$30k/yr at his peak If you're in the US, how are your parents faring for retirement? Are you and your siblings helping out?

mberning 9y ago

My dad retired and had a modest 401k. He also gets social security now. My mom works part time in the kitchen for the local school district. They are doing ok! I imagine they will come live with my wife and I when they are ready. I won’t put them in a home.

deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
xor1 9y ago
What about the rest of your siblings? Are they going to help? I ask because my parents are retired, and they are nearing the age where they will need assistance. It's just going to be my sister and I when it comes time to deal with figuring out what we are going to do. My mother has been financially dependent on my father throughout their entire relationship. I currently live near them and visit once a week, but I don't see how I can afford to stay in the area if I want to start a family of my own, unless I find a partner that earns around as much as I do so that we can clear $300k+ a year. Modest starter homes in a neighborhood with both decent schools and a commute time under an hour to where the jobs start at $700k. My sister and I also have to figure out how we are going to deal with my mom's relatives, who currently barely want anything to do with her, but will be ready to take advantage of her once my dad passes (assuming he passes away first -- I'm quite sure he will), and she's the main holder of everything. I already saw it happen with both of my grandmothers, so this isn't just unfounded pessimism. Both sides of my family are full of shitty people. I absolutely do not mind every single cent in their networth being used to care for my mother in old age. I do mind that money being mismanaged and wasted, especially if that results in her needing more than what was originally set aside by my father.
- pm90 9y ago
  You should absolutely have an honest conversation with her about her finances and talk to both of them about at least informing you about any changes they wish to make before they make them. Old people are very impressionable, and there are some very shitty people out there who give bad advice. They also scare easily, so they might take all their money out of their accounts when the market starts to go down even a little. Apologies, no harm intended towards older people, just have seen a lot of them get screwed over. e.g. my managers Mom had all her (late) husbands retirement money in a pretty great account which was sponsored by her husbands company. But her friend convinced her to take it all out and hold it in cash, which turned out to be really really bad advice.

pishpash 9y ago

If he did that then he had government support out the wazoo and free meals in the school as a child and all sorts of benefits.

mberning 9y ago
Yes we were on food stamps and WIC for several years when my two youngest siblings were born. Never on welfare. We got reduced lunch at school. It was about $0.50 if I remember correctly. What’s the point though? If anything there are more benefit programs today than were available then. At $100k/yr you really should not be eligible for much benefit when you consider how much better you are doing than average.
- tedivm 9y ago
  Food stamps and WIC are welfare. What exactly do you think welfare is?
  - Spooky23 9y ago
    Usually temporary assistance, which is when you get cash is considered welfare. Most people who understand this stuff don’t consider safety net programs like food stamps or WIC that way. The difference is that the Food stamps/WIC allow you to work, and most people on them do. “Welfare” requires you to not work in order to get a benefit. The most vociferous disgust regarding people on welfare usually comes from people who you would consider to be on “welfare”.
    - tedivm 9y ago
      That is a pretty ridiculous definition, and isn't even self consistent. With the exception of disability insurance and unemployment the majority of welfare programs (including where people just get direct cash) are income based (meaning people are allowed to work, but if their income rises above certain levels they lose some of the benefits). Food stamps are exactly the same, as is the reduced price lunches mentioned. If his parents made more money they would lose access to those welfare benefits.