No, it feels real to me. I think the writer is not a native speaker of American or British English, and much can be forgiven. I just think the author needs to

No, it feels real to me. I think the writer is not a native speaker of American or British English, and much can be forgiven. I just think the author needs to decide what his point is, and tell and entertaining story while getting there. This feels like it was written without editing.