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Do you have anything productive to add, such as responding directly to my dissection of the lack of empathy I’m talking to, or are you just projecting your brot

Do you have anything productive to add, such as responding directly to my dissection of the lack of empathy I’m talking to, or are you just projecting your brother onto me because you think you understand a label? If I didn’t give a shit, I wouldn’t be trying to explain it to him. Rebukes are based in corrective intent. If this were really a “BPD moment” (sigh) I would have split him to irrelevance and ignored him like he doesn’t matter to me. But I believe people can change, and I think a disregard for the suffering of other people is something that’s a little easier to change than others. Even yours. Your brother deserves it. This is the first time I’ve ever acknowledged my condition online. I’m already regretting it, based on the labeling dismissal of my opinions.

dsego 9y ago
I'm most likely projecting my brother. But my man, it's hard not to. I've just read your comments to my wife without telling her the context, and she said "sounds just like your brother". I mean no harm, I wish you all the best, but I couldn't resist reacting, it touched a nerve I guess. My brother always talks about how he helps friends and family, he tries to understand everyone, feels empathy. But there's never anything to show for it. I know I'm just an object to him, a shell, we all are, to take the abuse. If I drive him somewhere (he doesn't drive) he will not appreciate it, because that is my role in his life. He will even text uncles and friends late at night to drive him or do some other favor. But none of it counts, because he is the only one who feels, he listened to me when I had problems, and empathized. I guess I need to bow in front of him, the majesty, only person in the world who feels. When I read your comments, I get the same vibe, it hits all the right spots. It's uncanny really.
- jsmthrowaway 9y ago
  Your brother loves you. I promise. For both of your sakes, don’t lose sight of that, no matter how much he makes you try.
adekok 9y ago
> If I didn’t give a shit, I wouldn’t be trying to explain it to him. That's not what's happening here. You do give a shit. You care that someone, somewhere, poked you. You're not explaining your position. You're making false accusations, projecting, splitting, etc. You're focussing on your pain, and attacking the people who want you to stop inflicting your pain on others. All of which is typical. Look, I'm not mad. I understand what you're doing, and what you're going through. But that doesn't mean your behavior is appropriate. It's not.
- sctb 9y ago
  Would you please stop? Your comments in this thread do not reach the bar for civility on this site. If you want to admonish others about taking responsibility, you need to do the same for the effect of your own behavior here, which is clearly not helping the level of thoughtfulness and insight of this discussion thread.

dsego 9y ago

I'm most likely projecting my brother. But my man, it's hard not to. I've just read your comments to my wife without telling her the context, and she said "sounds just like your brother". I mean no harm, I wish you all the best, but I couldn't resist reacting, it touched a nerve I guess. My brother always talks about how he helps friends and family, he tries to understand everyone, feels empathy. But there's never anything to show for it. I know I'm just an object to him, a shell, we all are, to take the abuse. If I drive him somewhere (he doesn't drive) he will not appreciate it, because that is my role in his life. He will even text uncles and friends late at night to drive him or do some other favor. But none of it counts, because he is the only one who feels, he listened to me when I had problems, and empathized. I guess I need to bow in front of him, the majesty, only person in the world who feels. When I read your comments, I get the same vibe, it hits all the right spots. It's uncanny really.

jsmthrowaway 9y ago
Your brother loves you. I promise. For both of your sakes, don’t lose sight of that, no matter how much he makes you try.

adekok 9y ago

> If I didn’t give a shit, I wouldn’t be trying to explain it to him. That's not what's happening here. You do give a shit. You care that someone, somewhere, poked you. You're not explaining your position. You're making false accusations, projecting, splitting, etc. You're focussing on your pain, and attacking the people who want you to stop inflicting your pain on others. All of which is typical. Look, I'm not mad. I understand what you're doing, and what you're going through. But that doesn't mean your behavior is appropriate. It's not.

sctb 9y ago
Would you please stop? Your comments in this thread do not reach the bar for civility on this site. If you want to admonish others about taking responsibility, you need to do the same for the effect of your own behavior here, which is clearly not helping the level of thoughtfulness and insight of this discussion thread.