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I've mentioned this before on here, but for me tossing the smart phone and getting a flip phone has utterly changed the dynamic with my children. It has been 3
by cknoxrun 9y ago
I've mentioned this before on here, but for me tossing the smart phone and getting a flip phone has utterly changed the dynamic with my children. It has been 3 months, and I am still amazed (although I guess I shouldn't be) that being actually present with them when we interact has seemed to reduce their neediness/anxiety and improved our relationship/bond. If you can, I recommend giving it a try.
- el_benhameen 9y agoI want to do this, but my one hangup is the lack of a decent camera. I know that I probably don’t need to document my kid’s life as much as I do, but I do like being able to share moments with my own parents, who live a ways away. How did you handle this aspect of the change? Do you carry a dslr or point and shoot, or do you just go without (or have flip phone cameras improved a ton since my last one)?
- Chickenality 9y agoMaybe just commit to removing the most attention-grabbing apps from your phone? Seems like a good way to keep the aspects of your phone that you value while getting rid of the ones that you don't.
- alkonaut 9y agoYeah a time schedule or a really long and cumbersome unlock password for social media and web browser would really help. But then you need that recipe for dinner and you think "this is stupid, I'm an adult, I can handle this" and you remove it.
- cknoxrun 9y agoThis was my experience - after removing apps / block there would be an initial period where I would stick to it, but eventually would fall back to the same old routine. Changing engrained habits is extremely difficult.
- cknoxrun 9y agoYa the camera is the biggest issue, and I'll admit I do rely on my wife having her smartphone handy for capturing those unexpected moments. I do carry a small point and shoot (older model from 2009), but I am looking at upgrading it to a newer model. I find that because it isn't always handy, my photos of kids, events, etc. are more purposeful (some would say posed I guess), which depending on your point of view could be a plus.
- bargl 9y agoI think I need to give this a try. I may have to put my phone in a "dead zone" box or something when I get home so that I can be off and present with them. I like the idea of turning on a ringtone so I can be reached but also not always surfing youtube/facebook/hacker news/etc. I don't know why but getting my computer out to do something seems a lot more effort and I'm less likely to do it. I'm going to try this out tonight and go for 2 weeks to see how it goes. I'll re-assess then. Thanks your comment was the impetuous I needed to figure out a way to do it without getting rid of the smart phone the rest of the day.
- nickhalfasleep 9y agoAnother thing to try is put the phone on a shelf with car keys when you get home, and only pick it up after the kids are in bed. The feeling of "phantom phone" and the desire to check it are real. I totally empathise with you.