I feel for you, that is a tough situation to be in. Having been in an emotionally abusive relationship myself, which sounds like what yours has developed into,

I feel for you, that is a tough situation to be in. Having been in an emotionally abusive relationship myself, which sounds like what yours has developed into, I can kind of relate. I was neither married nor have children, and it was still very hard to disentangle myself from someone who was using me for stability. As others have said, you should probably talk to a lawyer since a child is involved. I also highly recommend finding a counselor or therapist if you haven’t already. This is deep emotional stuff, and it is hard to work through, and there are people who are trained to help you heal. As someone who is living a non~monogamous lifestyle, I want to chime in about that aspect. When two people are in a monogamous relationship and one person decides/discovers that they want to open it up, they don’t get to just do that to their partner. It is still not consensual if they never got informed, non-coerced consent. It needs to involve lots of talking (much more than simply saying “I’m doing this now”), it may need to involve marriage counseling, and it absolutely needs to be done with love. The label “polyamory” in particular designates multiple meaningful, loving relationships, I.e. not just bringing people home, especially if you as her first partner aren’t cool with it. That ain’t polyamory, or any kind of consensual non~monogamy, because her actions are not taking your well-being into account, so if she’s calling it that then she’s fooling herself. (This still applies even if you agreed to try it out and it became clear that it didn’t work for you and you told her as much.) Opening up an existing relationship is not an easy change to make, and it requires both partners to be on board, and it is absolutely fine for you to know that that’s not your relationship style and that you don’t want to continue a relationship with someone who has decided that it is hers. There is no need to feel bad about discovering that you are incompatible with each other and going your separate ways. I’m sorry that she didn’t know or care enough to handle the situation constructively though, that’s extra pain that could have been avoided. It’s a shitty situation but you can bounce back from it. I was 29 when I got out of my bad relationship. That was 6 or 7 years ago now and I’ve been enjoying life more than ever! Just make sure to spend time taking care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to ask people for help when you need it. Best of luck to you.