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> you're trusted a stranger with a lot of money "A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet." - Will Rogers The term stranger is a useful tool to prevent c
by BrandonM 16y ago
> you're trusted a stranger with a lot of money
"A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet." - Will Rogers
The term stranger is a useful tool to prevent children from trusting shifty individuals. As an adult, calling people strangers seems to me to be a good way to live in fear and fail to meet interesting new people. Most people are basically good.
- anovaskulk 16y agoNo, most people are not basically good, not really. It is an illusion of goodnes that they give off, due to their indifference, and their going with the flow. If the flow is good, the illusion is maintained, and all is well. But when push come to shove, they will show how little they really care.
- Confusion 16y agoYou're more pessimistic about people than their behavior in day-to-day reality warrants. We're not worried about intrinsic goodness, nor about goodness in extreme circumstances. We're only worried about effective goodness in normal circumstances. Can you ask someone to watch your stuff? Yes, you can. Whatever the reason, the vast majority of people can be trusted in the vast majority of circumstances. There are few that will simply let someone take your stuff when you ask them to watch it for you. when push come to shove Push doesn't come to shove. When someone threatens them, they may as well have threatened you. When there's a sudden flood, accident or any other unlikely incident, then you're often no worse off having someone else watch your stuff.
- lutorm 16y agoI basically agree with you, but don't think you should worry about someone else coming and taking the laptop. It's the person you asked to watch it that knows you are gone, if anyone, it's they that would get up, take the laptop, and go. But I think that risk is fairly small if you pick the right person. Ideally someone else with a laptop. They're likely not going anywhere, and they clearly already have a laptop...
- anovaskulk 16y agoI'm sorry, I did not mean to suggest otherwise. The illusion indeed is maintained in the vast majority of cases.
- Confusion 16y agoYes, but whether it is an illusion is irrelevant for the purposes of this discussion. And to wander off into more philosophical territory: if you say it is an illusion, you suggest that there is an intrinsic, below-the-veil-of-illusion, goodness in people. That warrants a huge discussion in itself. I would argue there is no such thing: what we are talking about here is 'the' goodness of people. There is no illusion. That they don't behave equally good in different circumstances is not because they are intrinsically less-than-good: it's because the exact same human characteristics simply give rise to different behavior in different circumstances. The motivation/inclination of people to behave in a certain way is not due intrinsic 'goodness', but due to a variety of other intrinsic characteristics, such as 'fearfulness'.
- duck 16y agoMost people are basically good. I completely agree, but for me it is based on how I see and interact with my community (and the surrounding ones). If I am working out of a library, coffee shop, etc. and need to go I will just leave everything as is. However, when I am in some other area I pack it up and take it.
- corin_ 16y agoAlthough it's always possible that the person you ask is one of the people who are not "basically good", if you're in a public place (such as on a train) then the fact that you've asked means the people sat around you will have heard, so if someone did then try and steal it (even if it was the person you asked), someone else will almost certainly stop them from doing it.
- mootothemax 16y ago...The fact that you've asked means the people sat around you will have heard, so if someone did then try and steal it... someone else will almost certainly stop them from doing it. Psychologists disagree: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect For the extremely sad story for why this is nicknamed Genovese syndrome: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitty_Genovese http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitty_Genovese
- aplusbi 16y agoThe bystander effect doesn't have much to do with this because you asked first. The simple act of asking changes peoples perceived personal responsibility.
- mootothemax 16y agoMaybe it comes from growing up in London, but I will /not/ trust someone I don't know with goods that are worth a great deal of time and money to me. I'm wondering if having been previously conned (thankfully many years ago now - the embarrassment has faded) has something to do with it. I fell for the man in dining suit asking to borrow money for his meal in a restaurant. I also fell for the girl in tears outside my front door, complete with baby in pushchair. And then, nearly every day in summer months, standing outside the pub, there's /another/ guy or girl who's lost their train fare home. There are more of them out there than you might think.
- Poiesis 16y agoRecently my mom witnessed an interaction at our county fair where a woman was feeling symptoms of a heart attack, and feeling very ill. This woman flagged down someone, and handed her her iPhone to call for help. The passerby promptly took off with the phone, which is where my mom stepped in to use her phone to help.
- BrandonM 16y agoI wasn't really commenting on whether or not it's smart to trust someone you don't know with your laptop. I was mainly commenting on his use of the word stranger which really stuck out to me as a term that seems misplaced when used by an adult.