I was in a similar situation. I drank too much - I also brewed my own beer, so I always had a fridge full of beer that was close at hand. I'd play video games a

I was in a similar situation. I drank too much - I also brewed my own beer, so I always had a fridge full of beer that was close at hand. I'd play video games and drink a few too many beers and feel a bit cruddy in the morning, and I had no idea why other than, "I'm an adult, I can drink and play diablo if I want". This went on for a while and was under control until it wasn't anymore. For me, I was lucky: I drank way too much and decided to try to ride my vespa scooter. I fell off and hurt myself, but I didn't hurt myself permanently and I didn't hurt anyone else. It did involve the police, and my wife getting woken up at 3am by those police, being terrified that I was dead somewhere. In particular, this was where I decided I had to change things. I'm on a pretty strict regimen - I still can drink, but basically only one drink a night, and almost always only one drink a week (during some holidays or vacations, I can have a drink on two nights, but I strictly limit the per-night drinking). This worked for me, but I can't say it works for everyone. Nowadays (five years later), I will frequently go several weeks without drinking once, and I don't feel the urge to break the rules anymore. Honestly, at first, I was following the rules because I knew my job, freedom and marriage were on the line, but after a while I followed the rules because that was enough alcohol for me. I'm no longer as worried that I'll randomly binge when I'm traveling for business and I'm AFK on a weeknight with nothing stopping me from tying one on (always a fear, but I'm at least less tempted these days). I also had to spend a lot of time thinking about why I was drinking in the first place. In the moment, and even shortly thereafter, I thought, "hmm, I don't know why I am doing this". In retrospect though, I was deeply unhappy with my job. It was one of those things where I had a lot of my identity tied up in doing my job (academic / professor job), and the fact that I hated it wasn't something I wanted to face. So, to directly address some of your points, I was in a place you describe, but there was just one mistake that showed how little control I actually had, and it was only because I am incredibly lucky that I didn't end up dead, permanently injured, or in jail. And only from a distance and with some perspective did I realize that I was drinking in part because I did not want to face some personal issues that were difficult to face.