I am ashamed to say that I have a similar probalem (but I don’t have a family) but, let’s face it, you already know the solution because you asked the question—

I am ashamed to say that I have a similar probalem (but I don’t have a family) but, let’s face it, you already know the solution because you asked the question—you know that drinking is a problem in your situation. Just stop if you love your family at all and tell yourself that you need to get your shits together and prioritise your family. The fact that a seemingly “reasonable” person like you is asking this question is because you are conceited and you think that the people around you are dumber than you (at least for now) and won’t understand. So... just deal with it and make it right by your wife and kids? Otherwise you are just giving yourself excuses to keep running away from the problem, like asking this pointless question that you already have the answer to.