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One of the parent posts mentioned that it is difficult to even agree what constitutes sexual harassment, so difficult to know what to act on or how to act in al

One of the parent posts mentioned that it is difficult to even agree what constitutes sexual harassment, so difficult to know what to act on or how to act in all circumstances. Some consider a hug sexual harassment, some consider touching a knee. What about putting your hand on a person's back? Does it make a difference what part of their back, if so exactly how and where? Sexual harassment should be far more about intention rather than the specific part of the body touched (excluding the obvious no-go areas of genitals and breasts). Generally you should be allowed 1 strike, for mis-reading signals. In a society where men are expected to initiate contact, this is a fraught situation. It is not a simple answer.

icebraining 9y ago
No, sorry, I don't get it at all. Stop trying to read "signals" and get people's actual consent before touching them. It's not difficult or complicated.
- SeanDav 9y ago
  Not sure what you mean - I have been touched by male and female colleagues numerous times. Not once was it sexual, it was just people being people. Are you suggesting that they ask my permission every time before touching my arm or shoulder or slapping me on the back? Can you imagine the following scene: "Gee John, you did a great job there, I would like to shake your hand, or even pat your back (only near the shoulder mind you and no lower than a line formed by the bottom of your shoulder blades). Do you think that would be permissible? I want to reassure you that this touch will not be sexual in any way."
  - icebraining 9y ago
    A handshake is a good example: when you go give one to someone, you don't actually touch them, you extend your hand and wait for their explicit (if non-verbal) consent. As for patting backs, do avoid doing so. Many of us don't like it even if it's totally non-sexual.
    - SeanDav 9y ago
      > "As for patting backs, do avoid doing so. Many of us don't like it even if it's totally non-sexual." ...and many of us do like being patted on the back (non-condescending of course). Perhaps in the future, we will all have to work in an environment where no touching of any sort is allowed, ever, but I can't help thinking that would be a step backwards.
      - coldtea 9y ago
        Maybe we can have two office sections, one for touch-me-nots, and one for less sensitive people, like smoking and non-smoking sections.

icebraining 9y ago

No, sorry, I don't get it at all. Stop trying to read "signals" and get people's actual consent before touching them. It's not difficult or complicated.

SeanDav 9y ago
Not sure what you mean - I have been touched by male and female colleagues numerous times. Not once was it sexual, it was just people being people. Are you suggesting that they ask my permission every time before touching my arm or shoulder or slapping me on the back? Can you imagine the following scene: "Gee John, you did a great job there, I would like to shake your hand, or even pat your back (only near the shoulder mind you and no lower than a line formed by the bottom of your shoulder blades). Do you think that would be permissible? I want to reassure you that this touch will not be sexual in any way."
- icebraining 9y ago
  A handshake is a good example: when you go give one to someone, you don't actually touch them, you extend your hand and wait for their explicit (if non-verbal) consent. As for patting backs, do avoid doing so. Many of us don't like it even if it's totally non-sexual.
  - SeanDav 9y ago
    > "As for patting backs, do avoid doing so. Many of us don't like it even if it's totally non-sexual." ...and many of us do like being patted on the back (non-condescending of course). Perhaps in the future, we will all have to work in an environment where no touching of any sort is allowed, ever, but I can't help thinking that would be a step backwards.
    - coldtea 9y ago
      Maybe we can have two office sections, one for touch-me-nots, and one for less sensitive people, like smoking and non-smoking sections.