4 ms·

>men who aren't threatened by women who are more educated (and possibly higher-paid) than they are Do these people actually exist anymore? What kind of man is

by xor1 9y ago

>men who aren't threatened by women who are more educated (and possibly higher-paid) than they are Do these people actually exist anymore? What kind of man is really going to pass on an otherwise suitable partner just because she's more educated and makes more money than him? I can't imagine a single person I know thinking something along the lines of "yeah, she's great, but she makes more money than me, it won't work". 3 of my friends make more than their boyfriends. 2 of my friends make less than their girlfriends/wives. I sure wouldn't mind.

xedrac 9y ago
If I'm being honest, this would bother me at some level. Certainly not enough to pass up the opportunity, but somehow I would feel less of a man. I'm sure I would get over it quickly enough, or maybe use it as motivation to become equally educated. I do think it's great that there are so many highly educated women.
- xor1 9y ago
  I have only dated women smarter/richer than me so far, and yes, it is very motivating.
amag 9y ago
My wife has at times earned more than me but that's never felt threatening. After all, I benefit from her increased income. In fact I would love it if she'd earn enough for me to be a stay home dad without us needing to cut expenses too much.
- zaarn 9y ago
  That's more of an anecdote than any real data.
niuzeta 9y ago
Traditional gender roles and expectation still exist. It also seems that if the wife makes more than the husband, you're more likely to suffer a divorce[1] It's easy to say I wouldn't mind, but I haven't faced the situation. In fact, I hope I wouldn't have to. [1] https://hbr.org/2017/05/does-a-womans-high-status-career-hurt-her-marriage-not-if-her-husband-does-the-laundry https://hbr.org/2017/05/does-a-womans-high-status-career-hur...
- xor1 9y ago
  From that link: >We found that wives who believed they held higher status positions than their husbands were indeed more likely to experience feelings of resentfulness or embarrassment, feeling that their status was decreased by their husbands’ lower status position, which in turn had a negative impact on their marital satisfaction — and even increased the likelihood that they were thinking about divorce. Husbands, however, were unaffected by their wives’ status spillover feelings: They only experienced greater marital dissatisfaction and thoughts about divorce if their wives’ were outwardly unhappy with their relationship.
  - niuzeta 9y ago
    Right, it's one of those things where you sort of "know" as a gut feeling and applying a little of imagination. It's good to see it recognized however.
passwordqq 9y ago
Why do you care/how do you know about their salaries in the first place?
tomp 9y ago
You’re missing the option that they wouldn’t dismiss such a woman priori, but many men’s egos wouldn’t take it well in a long-term relationship. (I cannot really speak from personal experience unfortunately.)

by xor1 9y ago

xedrac 9y ago

If I'm being honest, this would bother me at some level. Certainly not enough to pass up the opportunity, but somehow I would feel less of a man. I'm sure I would get over it quickly enough, or maybe use it as motivation to become equally educated. I do think it's great that there are so many highly educated women.

xor1 9y ago
I have only dated women smarter/richer than me so far, and yes, it is very motivating.

amag 9y ago

My wife has at times earned more than me but that's never felt threatening. After all, I benefit from her increased income. In fact I would love it if she'd earn enough for me to be a stay home dad without us needing to cut expenses too much.

zaarn 9y ago
That's more of an anecdote than any real data.

niuzeta 9y ago

Traditional gender roles and expectation still exist. It also seems that if the wife makes more than the husband, you're more likely to suffer a divorce[1] It's easy to say I wouldn't mind, but I haven't faced the situation. In fact, I hope I wouldn't have to. [1] https://hbr.org/2017/05/does-a-womans-high-status-career-hurt-her-marriage-not-if-her-husband-does-the-laundry https://hbr.org/2017/05/does-a-womans-high-status-career-hur...

xor1 9y ago
From that link: >We found that wives who believed they held higher status positions than their husbands were indeed more likely to experience feelings of resentfulness or embarrassment, feeling that their status was decreased by their husbands’ lower status position, which in turn had a negative impact on their marital satisfaction — and even increased the likelihood that they were thinking about divorce. Husbands, however, were unaffected by their wives’ status spillover feelings: They only experienced greater marital dissatisfaction and thoughts about divorce if their wives’ were outwardly unhappy with their relationship.
- niuzeta 9y ago
  Right, it's one of those things where you sort of "know" as a gut feeling and applying a little of imagination. It's good to see it recognized however.

passwordqq 9y ago

Why do you care/how do you know about their salaries in the first place?

tomp 9y ago

You’re missing the option that they wouldn’t dismiss such a woman priori, but many men’s egos wouldn’t take it well in a long-term relationship. (I cannot really speak from personal experience unfortunately.)