8 ms·

> If men can increase their pool size, why not women? Women can, it is just they don't want to due to what the majority express as desirable characteristics. I

• xor1 9y ago
  >Finding an "equal" man in your mid-thirties as a women is very hard. Finding an "equal" woman in your mid-thirties as a man who doesn't want to date down in terms of education, status, wealth, or mental health is just as difficult.
  • Anderkent 9y ago
    Of course. But most - obvsly overlapping bell curves, but on the median clear difference - men don't care about that as much.
  • tpolzer 9y ago
    So just don't move "up", improve your dating life?
    • deleted 9y ago
      [deleted]
  • sjg007 9y ago
    It actually should be easier. Since there are more women at this level then men.
    • xor1 9y ago
      There are more women at this level, but some (many?) of them are not interested in an equal partner.
  • megaman22 9y ago
    Or finding one who isn't traumatized too badly by past relationships.
    • xor1 9y ago
      I think that people who are "traumatized" by past relationships were the ones who had psychological issues of some sort to begin with, that that sort of damage happens when you are a child, and that your typical, emotionally healthy adult can get over it and force themselves to trust again, even if it happens repeatedly and with multiple partners, because the majority of people are "good" people, and you can't let people with personality disorders taint your entire view of humanity or a specific subset of it. I went through the wringer with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder with significant narcissistic and sociopathic traits. I can't imagine a future relationship possibly being any worse, short of a pregnancy being involved (or another person with BPD). I was shaken up for a few months, but I'm over it now. She would blame many of her negative traits and behaviors (that, from my understanding and conversations with her mom, had been a part of her personality from an early age) on past lovers, as if they were the ones responsible for damaging her. I'm sure she brought me up to the next guy(s) as well. How dare I try to get her into therapy? All she ever did was love me, after all.
      • FuckOffNeemo 9y ago
        Nothing more to add to your comment here besides stating I had a similar experience. BPD, narcissistic and sociopathic traits all derived or perhaps exasperated by significant and truly awful childhood trauma. Had me in an awful state for a year. Being introduced to intermittent reinforcement by my therapist was the moment that the penny dropped and I started to relinquish my feelings of loss and guilt.
        • epylar 9y ago
          Could you expand on the intermittent reinforcement concept in the context of an interpersonal relationship? I think it might help me.
  • deleted 9y ago
    [deleted]
• Santosh83 9y ago
  > Finding an "equal" man in your mid-thirties as a women is very hard. Interesting. I'd have assumed that finding an 'equal' man is pretty simple, but moving up the social ladder by marrying up is what is getting harder and harder as the pool of men 'higher' than women is shrinking while simultaneously women themselves are moving up on their own.
  • alva 9y ago
    I think it is mostly down to perceptions of equal between the groups. I do not think that the equality is equal.
• niuzeta 9y ago
  > I know several women in their mid-thirties who adamantly refuse to consider long term partnership with perceived low status males (along lines of status, power, wealth and education). Lowering standards aside, this attitude alone would be off-putting for most men, high-status ones especially. What do they bring to the table? Certainly humility isn't one of them.
  • dwaltrip 9y ago
    Parent is using blunt language to communicate economically, don't read into it too much. The women displaying such mate selection patterns could easily be friendly, sociable, and well-liked.
    • burntrelish1273 9y ago
      LOL. I'm a cis white dude, 39, make ~300k year, skipped grad school, mild child prodigy, am in decent shape and am very tall. From my experience, women in major cities, especially in the U.S., are predominantly jaded, lack (or feign) general life-skills, life-experience, purpose, respect, manners, direction, trustworthiness and reciprocity. To me, the biggest turn-offs (sans personality disorders): materialism, strategic self-/other-sabotage, ignorance, uncoolness, selfishness, infantilism, lack of introspection and autonomous behavior. The hook-up pool for me is virtually all but the dating pool for me is basically zero. Unreasonable, non-reciprocal selfishness compared to value offered (ie sanity, health, intelligence, etc.) isn't worth arguing with. Plus, gold-diggers feel entitled to "their half" in community property states. For dudes looking for life-partners (sans marriage), look at other countries and college towns. If you just want to get laid, pay for it... it's much cheaper and simpler. If you want to make more money, find a decent woman whom is supportive, honest and fun and isn't divorce-oriented, one-side relationship-lazy or has a wandering eye. For dudettes for the same, they ought to sex/relationship tourism or relocate to male-heavy ratio places like the SF Bay Area. For both, don't get married or have kids, except after long-term stability.
      • vfulco 9y ago
        So damn true. You nailed it. And hooking up the way you do pisses women off because they can't get their hooks in you then if you are otherwise satisfied.
• narrator 9y ago
  I wonder what the statistics are for divorce for rich women who marry a poorer guy? I'll bet it's not wonderful.