4 ms·
As an introvert prone to social anxiety, a lot of this resonated with me. I however, am not subject to betrayal by my own voice, as a stutterer must be. This pa
by le-mark 9y ago
As an introvert prone to social anxiety, a lot of this resonated with me. I however, am not subject to betrayal by my own voice, as a stutterer must be. This passage really stood out;
Absent the context afforded by weekly papers and emails, silence acts as a blank slate onto which people tend to project their own insecurities, expectations, even paranoia. It can masquerade as apathy, or rudeness
I've always found that keeping quiet was just easier in so many ways. Consequently I've always been seen as quiet, reserved, stoic at best or cold and judgemental at worst. I've only recently come to realize what a disservice I've done myself by keeping quiet all these years. No one knows what I'm about if I don't tell them. If I'm kind and generous, I have to tell people what I'm about, who I am, through words and actions.
- rdtsc 9y agoAgreed. Yeah I noticed this pattern when someone else was being quiet, others including me unfortunately thought at first they are being either mean, aloof, or alternatively not interested, which later found out they were just shy and introverted. But by then the damage was already done, people form an opinion quickly based on first impressions.
- fern12 9y agoThis is my case as well (i.e., not a stutterer, but introvert prone to social anxiety). When I was a toddler, my family took a vacation to Mexico, and on the way back into the US, a very stern border patrol officer (who I realize now was just doing his job), started barking questions at me one after another. I immediately froze, and refused to speak. He pulled us over to the side, and it became a tense situation with my parents freaking out, and everyone pressuring me to speak. Fortunately, my sister is a chatterbox and resembles me enough that he let us go (plus, I had my passport), but the experience left a strong impact on me. After that, I felt like I relived the moment in school, every time the teacher called on me to answer. Later on, I became a bookworm in part because through reading I found that I could pick out words and phrases to reuse in normal conversation.
- programmarchy 9y agoSorry that happened to you. It's insane to yell at a toddler like that, and your parents should have defended you.
- fern12 9y agoThanks. Later, my parents tried explaining that he was only trying to prove I could speak English. But yeah, that was the first and last family vacation we took to Mexico, lol.