4 ms·

I'm sorry that happened to you. Since she knew your real identity, did you know hers? Did the possibility exist that you could sue her in civil court? I don't

I'm sorry that happened to you. Since she knew your real identity, did you know hers? Did the possibility exist that you could sue her in civil court? I don't feel like I'm the litigious type but that case seems to be begging for a legal response.

maxxxxx 9y ago
Going to court after such an episode is another traumatic experience where you have to relive the whole situation. That's why it's difficult for rape victims to go to the police or court because they have relive the trauma again in all detail.
- segmondy 9y ago
  Court or not, you are going to relive it. Next time an old friend contacts you, you will relive it, could even be via email or phone. Someone trying to get into a relationship could be talking and getting personal and you would panic and wonder if it's a setup. You could be watching a TV show or see someone that looks like the lady. Lots of things can trigger it. Going to court won't eliminate it, but the more often people are punished for things like these, the less people will engage in such evil acts.
  - maxxxxx 9y ago
    I agree that going to court is a good thing but you can't compare talking about one of the most vulnerable moments of one's life with friends to having to tell all details of the story to strangers in public while possibly being challenged by an adversarial lawyer or cops who may not believe you.
Mz 9y ago
Going to court to clear your name can result in the Streisand Effect. Lots of people are very judgey about sex. Letting more people know can just compound the problem, even if you win. It also is kind of like throwing good money after bad. After this has taken so much away, you are sinking more of your life into it. It can just magnify the damage. I wish there were more justice in the world. I wish fighting the good fight were more rewarding. But that is often not a pragmatic approach.

maxxxxx 9y ago

Going to court after such an episode is another traumatic experience where you have to relive the whole situation. That's why it's difficult for rape victims to go to the police or court because they have relive the trauma again in all detail.

segmondy 9y ago
Court or not, you are going to relive it. Next time an old friend contacts you, you will relive it, could even be via email or phone. Someone trying to get into a relationship could be talking and getting personal and you would panic and wonder if it's a setup. You could be watching a TV show or see someone that looks like the lady. Lots of things can trigger it. Going to court won't eliminate it, but the more often people are punished for things like these, the less people will engage in such evil acts.
- maxxxxx 9y ago
  I agree that going to court is a good thing but you can't compare talking about one of the most vulnerable moments of one's life with friends to having to tell all details of the story to strangers in public while possibly being challenged by an adversarial lawyer or cops who may not believe you.

Mz 9y ago

Going to court to clear your name can result in the Streisand Effect. Lots of people are very judgey about sex. Letting more people know can just compound the problem, even if you win. It also is kind of like throwing good money after bad. After this has taken so much away, you are sinking more of your life into it. It can just magnify the damage. I wish there were more justice in the world. I wish fighting the good fight were more rewarding. But that is often not a pragmatic approach.