4 ms·

what are some of the things, in your opinion, that are acceptable to say to a man you do not know, that are not acceptable to say to a women you do not know?

by tabeth 9y ago

gizmo686 9y ago
The issue is not with complete strangers, but with people who you have some level of a relationship with. For example, if I will invite a male co-worker out to lunch without a second thought, but I would not do so with a female co-worker unless someone else was coming along. This very clearly hurts my female co-workers, but I care more about covering my own ass then gender equality. I also would not think twice about asking a male co-worker about his personal life, but am much more cautious when doing so with a female co-worker.
- tabeth 9y ago
  your example is bizarre. of course you have to use complete strangers as an example, because we're attempting to determine if the gender is the variable of concern, not your relationship. if you were friends with this female co-worker 4 times as long as the male co-worker I'm sure you wouldn't have any qualms. why wouldn't you invite your female colleague to lunch? what do you think is going to happen? good lord.
  - gizmo686 9y ago
    >What do you think is going to happen? Most likely, nothing. Less likely, it would be received as some level of "creepy", either at the moment or at some future HR review. It simply does not feel worth it to take the chance. I suspect that most of the feeling is the result of anti sexual harassment propaganda rather than actual consequences, but that is not a minefield I feel like dealing with on a daily basis. >of course you have to use complete strangers as an example, because we're attempting to determine if the gender is the variable of concern, not your relationship. Gender could be a variable of concern in established relationships. For example, if it takes women on average 4 times as long to reach a given level of interaction with me compare to men, then gender is clearly a variable. Empirically, I can tell you that the gender of my co-workers is highly predictive of how personal I get with them.

what are some of the things, in your opinion, that are acceptable to say to a man you do not know, that are not acceptable to say to a women you do not know?

by tabeth 9y ago

what are some of the things, in your opinion, that are acceptable to say to a man you do not know, that are not acceptable to say to a women you do not know?

gizmo686 9y ago

The issue is not with complete strangers, but with people who you have some level of a relationship with. For example, if I will invite a male co-worker out to lunch without a second thought, but I would not do so with a female co-worker unless someone else was coming along. This very clearly hurts my female co-workers, but I care more about covering my own ass then gender equality. I also would not think twice about asking a male co-worker about his personal life, but am much more cautious when doing so with a female co-worker.

tabeth 9y ago
your example is bizarre. of course you have to use complete strangers as an example, because we're attempting to determine if the gender is the variable of concern, not your relationship. if you were friends with this female co-worker 4 times as long as the male co-worker I'm sure you wouldn't have any qualms. why wouldn't you invite your female colleague to lunch? what do you think is going to happen? good lord.
- gizmo686 9y ago
  >What do you think is going to happen? Most likely, nothing. Less likely, it would be received as some level of "creepy", either at the moment or at some future HR review. It simply does not feel worth it to take the chance. I suspect that most of the feeling is the result of anti sexual harassment propaganda rather than actual consequences, but that is not a minefield I feel like dealing with on a daily basis. >of course you have to use complete strangers as an example, because we're attempting to determine if the gender is the variable of concern, not your relationship. Gender could be a variable of concern in established relationships. For example, if it takes women on average 4 times as long to reach a given level of interaction with me compare to men, then gender is clearly a variable. Empirically, I can tell you that the gender of my co-workers is highly predictive of how personal I get with them.