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I don’t consider these things just plain fine. I’d consider many of them somewhat offensive even if they came from a friend, regardless of gender: * Telling so
by comstock 9y ago
I don’t consider these things just plain fine. I’d consider many of them somewhat offensive even if they came from a friend, regardless of gender:
* Telling someone a very funny, yet lewd joke that you just thought up
* Telling someone they should dress better
* Telling someone they are too uptight
* Telling someone that, if they were nicer, they might get ahead more
I guess people are different...
- simonsarris 9y agoI'm trying to leave "personally" out of this on purpose. Don't you see the problem, regardless of your personal feelings? People differ about what's fine in the list. But when a male doesn't think its fine, its still more-or-less fine by comparison. The negative reactions of men to other men receiving those comments would not at all resemble [some of] the negative reactions of women receiving them. The downside is fairly bounded with men (guy thinks commentor is a jerk or weird) and unbounded with women (commentor loses their job because HR themselves is also playing it ultra safe). Males can take more social risks with males, which may increase bonding (or it may not), which may leave women behind. That's a problem that's not easy to solve. Males allowing males more leeway means males will have more opportunities to bond with males. "Boys club effect" grows stronger.
- comstock 9y agoI think it’s absolutely conceivable that a male manager might fire a male employee for making a lewd joke. The other things? From both men and women I would guess the appropriate response is to inform the commenter that their remark is no ok. If it keeps happening you might want to get rid of them, sounds like a bad workplace environment.