Because I don't like where my life has been going and intend to change it. It's like watching life from the sidelines, and people distancing themselves from you

Because I don't like where my life has been going and intend to change it. It's like watching life from the sidelines, and people distancing themselves from you one by one. I suffered much and realized it was much worse than the effort of working on myself and trying once more. Very little to lose. I suspect the biggest change in my attitude came when I started working out - the dopamine kick pulled me from depression(not the only factor, but the largest contributor) and I only have mild symptoms now. Later, my psychiatrist literally told me to never stop working out. That's more encouragement than I got from my physician (and my health requires regular exercise).