7 ms·

I love cooking dinner for 10 people. It's exciting, it takes a week of planning, a full day or two of cooking, and the glow afterwards when everyone has gone ho

I love cooking dinner for 10 people. It's exciting, it takes a week of planning, a full day or two of cooking, and the glow afterwards when everyone has gone home full and happy lasts a lifetime. I can remember the faces of my guests from every party I've ever thrown. Dinner parties are perfect because I'm completely unsociable when it comes to regular parties - I detest smalltalk. Over dinner however, talk is deep and profound and often difficult and challenging. Friendships can be broken, or new ones made that last a lifetime. The author has a problem with cellphones? Ask kindly for them to not be at the table, forgo the Instagram credit and make a stand. It's not going to ruin everyone's day for not having a filtered photo of your lobster this one time. For those who don't think they can cook: it's a combination of understanding food chemistry and following instructions. Think about a favourite meal you had once and try and recreate - all good food needs is passion, the rest follows.

scoot 9y ago
> For those who don't think they can cook: it's a combination of understanding food chemistry and following instructions. Or, in the words of Auguste Gusteau: "Anyone can cook."
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
ThomPete 9y ago
You don't even need to understand chemistry. Understand techniques and the rest becomes really simple.
- ChuckMcM 9y ago
  I would disagree slightly with this, one recipe I made used the reaction between the baking soda and the buttermilk to provide the "fluffyness", since I wasn't aware I didn't finish the prep fast enough to get it into the oven while it was still internally foaming, and ended up with a very short and dense cake. Had someone said, "You want to be sure to be baking before the sodium bicarbonate stops reacting." that would have clued me into the time constraint based on the chemistry.
  - foobarian 9y ago
    The thing that bugs me about these commonly cited pieces of information about cooking is I have a hard time verifying them without a lot of experimentation. I took up making waffles in the morning following the common buttermilk + baking soda + baking powder recipe. One day I was kind of groggy and forgot to add baking soda; and I could not tell the difference. The whole food writing / recipe sector lost a lot of credibility for me that day.
    - davidgay 9y ago
      Well the basic thing going on is "acid + base". Baking powder contains both (baking powder is baking soda + cream of tartar - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potassium_bitartrate https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potassium_bitartrate), and starts reacting when water is added (try it). Baking soda is a base, and reacts with buttermilk which is acidic. It's not clear to me why some recipes contain both acid+baking soda and baking powder. Maybe they're worried that the first combination isn't sufficient? My breakfast this morning used yoghurt + baking soda ;) (бухти)
      - m3kw9 9y ago
        I think one of them has a delaying effect which kicks, need to google it
        dagw 9y ago
        baking powder has a delayed effect, activated by heat.
  - kbutler 9y ago
    Some people learn the technique, others learn the chemistry and physics behind the technique.
    - ChuckMcM 9y ago
      For me it was more the chemistry informed the technique.
- coldtea 9y ago
  >You don't even need to understand chemistry Parent said "understand food chemistry", which I understand not to be the chemistry of food as it relates to molecules and chemical reaction chains, but rather something more basic: this thing can soak too much oil, this burns quickly even in moderate fire, this food gets soggy if you put in this before that, and such things.
  - Symbiote 9y ago
    "Food chemistry" generally means the chemical reactions in food -- the actions of acids and bases, fats, gluten, starch and so on. My mother studied food chemistry at college, so childhood baking generally included 20 seconds of explanation on why something I was about to do would make a mess. ("If you don't do X, the protein in won't coagulate and it will all fall apart.") This mostly applied to baking, cooking eggs, or making a roux. The rest doesn't really matter. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_chemistry https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_chemistry
    - wellboy 9y ago
      From the context, it pretty sure means how sauces and flavours fit together, not knowing the actual molecules.
- dirktheman 9y ago
  My mother always says 'pastry is an exact science, cooking is a liberal art'. Cooking a meal is more about tasting, technique than the exact amount of ingredients. Pastry is a different beast, it you don't use the exact amounts or time chances are your dish will fail.
  - ThomPete 9y ago
    That is very true. Baking can go really wrong if you are not precise.
beautifulfreak 9y ago
Potluck dinners are just as enjoyable. That mood of sociability still happens if everyone brings a dish, and the commentary about them can be a conversation starter. It's amazing how unforgettable such meals can be.
- aaronblohowiak 9y ago
  You can even plan the menu and make specific asks for each friend — you are on salad, you are on dessert, you are on beer, you are on wine, and the house provides the main. Simple. We’ve also tried catering and it is fine but it feels less intimate.
seanwilson 9y ago
> I detest smalltalk. Over dinner however, talk is deep and profound and often difficult and challenging. Smalltalk is how you get to know a little about someone so you can move on to deeper things you both want to talk about. It's really unusual to just launch into deep conversation with someone you barely know.
- wenc 9y ago
  Agreed. I used to think small talk was superficial, but it does serve a social purpose in mixed-company. It greases the wheel and initiates people into deeper conversation. Without it, the atmosphere gets really intense really quickly, which can be weird unless you're among old friends or people who have high emotional intelligence to start with (can't always count on that).
  - m3kw9 9y ago
    A lot of people hate small talk because of their success rate of small talk. “How are you doing?”, “yeah it’s good, how have you been?” “Not too bad”. “...”
    - wenc 9y ago
      There are many good opening lines, but I've found that simply asking "How's your week been?" works much better than a "How are you" because it nudges people to to tell a story. Then I ask questions about that story.
- telesilla 9y ago
  I'd certainly like to be better at it and I do try but those first minutes a stranger while you are searching for a common topic can be gruelling. I'd rather be introduced by friends who say "you both like X" and go from there.
  - cirgue 9y ago
    Remember that everyone feels a little awkward meeting new people, and the first aim of small talk, before any other consideration, is to make the other person feel at ease. It's about them, not about you. You also have to have the courage to demonstrate genuine interest in others. If you only care about the ways that person relates to your particular interests, you will come off as disingenuous.
princeb 9y ago
> it takes a week of planning, a full day or two of cooking not to mention the cleaning up is a good 3-4h after (or the next morning) respect for those who can fit it in their schedule. i know i have no excuse because the author of the article is a restaurateur in NY which surely means a 365-day-a-year commitment to her business. where she finds time, i don't know. i sometimes feel like i can't do it and i definitely don't work every day.
- kijin 9y ago
  It's the same as any other serious family activity. Going on a camping trip, having a big garage sale, or decorating your house for Halloween can take just as much planning and cleanup as a dinner party. If you can take day off or take advantage of a long weekend to do these things, great! If not, you probably have different priorities and that's fine too.
- Symbiote 9y ago
  I usually manage to clean up ¾ of the mess the same night: I dump everything that will fit in the dishwasher and set it to start overnight. In the morning, I empty it, and the rest of the stuff goes in the dishwasher. Then I put away the liqueur bottles, wipe down the table, and replace the chairs. What other mess is there, beyond routine cleaning?
greggman 9y ago
I have had amazing dinner parties with zero planning. Maybe it's because of different cuisine. In my case the first zero planning dinner party I went to was a nabe (hotpot) party. On the way to the friends house we all (10 of us) pitched in like $3-$4 each, we stopped at the supermarket, got a few things, go back to the friends house, dumped them in the hotpot. Yes, you need a hotpot but a burner + pot is < $20 in many parts of Asia (and in the USA too if you go to an Asian supermarket) I've done the other kind too with more planning and a day or 2 of cooking too. Just suggesting that you can also do it without the planning and hours of cooking.
goialoq 9y ago
What makes dinner talk more profound than regular talk?

scoot 9y ago

> For those who don't think they can cook: it's a combination of understanding food chemistry and following instructions. Or, in the words of Auguste Gusteau: "Anyone can cook."

deleted 9y ago
[deleted]

ThomPete 9y ago

You don't even need to understand chemistry. Understand techniques and the rest becomes really simple.

ChuckMcM 9y ago
I would disagree slightly with this, one recipe I made used the reaction between the baking soda and the buttermilk to provide the "fluffyness", since I wasn't aware I didn't finish the prep fast enough to get it into the oven while it was still internally foaming, and ended up with a very short and dense cake. Had someone said, "You want to be sure to be baking before the sodium bicarbonate stops reacting." that would have clued me into the time constraint based on the chemistry.
- foobarian 9y ago
  The thing that bugs me about these commonly cited pieces of information about cooking is I have a hard time verifying them without a lot of experimentation. I took up making waffles in the morning following the common buttermilk + baking soda + baking powder recipe. One day I was kind of groggy and forgot to add baking soda; and I could not tell the difference. The whole food writing / recipe sector lost a lot of credibility for me that day.
  - davidgay 9y ago
    Well the basic thing going on is "acid + base". Baking powder contains both (baking powder is baking soda + cream of tartar - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potassium_bitartrate https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potassium_bitartrate), and starts reacting when water is added (try it). Baking soda is a base, and reacts with buttermilk which is acidic. It's not clear to me why some recipes contain both acid+baking soda and baking powder. Maybe they're worried that the first combination isn't sufficient? My breakfast this morning used yoghurt + baking soda ;) (бухти)
    - m3kw9 9y ago
      I think one of them has a delaying effect which kicks, need to google it
      - dagw 9y ago
        baking powder has a delayed effect, activated by heat.
- kbutler 9y ago
  Some people learn the technique, others learn the chemistry and physics behind the technique.
  - ChuckMcM 9y ago
    For me it was more the chemistry informed the technique.
coldtea 9y ago
>You don't even need to understand chemistry Parent said "understand food chemistry", which I understand not to be the chemistry of food as it relates to molecules and chemical reaction chains, but rather something more basic: this thing can soak too much oil, this burns quickly even in moderate fire, this food gets soggy if you put in this before that, and such things.
- Symbiote 9y ago
  "Food chemistry" generally means the chemical reactions in food -- the actions of acids and bases, fats, gluten, starch and so on. My mother studied food chemistry at college, so childhood baking generally included 20 seconds of explanation on why something I was about to do would make a mess. ("If you don't do X, the protein in won't coagulate and it will all fall apart.") This mostly applied to baking, cooking eggs, or making a roux. The rest doesn't really matter. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_chemistry https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_chemistry
  - wellboy 9y ago
    From the context, it pretty sure means how sauces and flavours fit together, not knowing the actual molecules.
dirktheman 9y ago
My mother always says 'pastry is an exact science, cooking is a liberal art'. Cooking a meal is more about tasting, technique than the exact amount of ingredients. Pastry is a different beast, it you don't use the exact amounts or time chances are your dish will fail.
- ThomPete 9y ago
  That is very true. Baking can go really wrong if you are not precise.

beautifulfreak 9y ago

Potluck dinners are just as enjoyable. That mood of sociability still happens if everyone brings a dish, and the commentary about them can be a conversation starter. It's amazing how unforgettable such meals can be.

aaronblohowiak 9y ago
You can even plan the menu and make specific asks for each friend — you are on salad, you are on dessert, you are on beer, you are on wine, and the house provides the main. Simple. We’ve also tried catering and it is fine but it feels less intimate.

seanwilson 9y ago

> I detest smalltalk. Over dinner however, talk is deep and profound and often difficult and challenging. Smalltalk is how you get to know a little about someone so you can move on to deeper things you both want to talk about. It's really unusual to just launch into deep conversation with someone you barely know.

wenc 9y ago
Agreed. I used to think small talk was superficial, but it does serve a social purpose in mixed-company. It greases the wheel and initiates people into deeper conversation. Without it, the atmosphere gets really intense really quickly, which can be weird unless you're among old friends or people who have high emotional intelligence to start with (can't always count on that).
- m3kw9 9y ago
  A lot of people hate small talk because of their success rate of small talk. “How are you doing?”, “yeah it’s good, how have you been?” “Not too bad”. “...”
  - wenc 9y ago
    There are many good opening lines, but I've found that simply asking "How's your week been?" works much better than a "How are you" because it nudges people to to tell a story. Then I ask questions about that story.
telesilla 9y ago
I'd certainly like to be better at it and I do try but those first minutes a stranger while you are searching for a common topic can be gruelling. I'd rather be introduced by friends who say "you both like X" and go from there.
- cirgue 9y ago
  Remember that everyone feels a little awkward meeting new people, and the first aim of small talk, before any other consideration, is to make the other person feel at ease. It's about them, not about you. You also have to have the courage to demonstrate genuine interest in others. If you only care about the ways that person relates to your particular interests, you will come off as disingenuous.

princeb 9y ago

> it takes a week of planning, a full day or two of cooking not to mention the cleaning up is a good 3-4h after (or the next morning) respect for those who can fit it in their schedule. i know i have no excuse because the author of the article is a restaurateur in NY which surely means a 365-day-a-year commitment to her business. where she finds time, i don't know. i sometimes feel like i can't do it and i definitely don't work every day.

kijin 9y ago
It's the same as any other serious family activity. Going on a camping trip, having a big garage sale, or decorating your house for Halloween can take just as much planning and cleanup as a dinner party. If you can take day off or take advantage of a long weekend to do these things, great! If not, you probably have different priorities and that's fine too.
Symbiote 9y ago
I usually manage to clean up ¾ of the mess the same night: I dump everything that will fit in the dishwasher and set it to start overnight. In the morning, I empty it, and the rest of the stuff goes in the dishwasher. Then I put away the liqueur bottles, wipe down the table, and replace the chairs. What other mess is there, beyond routine cleaning?

greggman 9y ago

I have had amazing dinner parties with zero planning. Maybe it's because of different cuisine. In my case the first zero planning dinner party I went to was a nabe (hotpot) party. On the way to the friends house we all (10 of us) pitched in like $3-$4 each, we stopped at the supermarket, got a few things, go back to the friends house, dumped them in the hotpot. Yes, you need a hotpot but a burner + pot is < $20 in many parts of Asia (and in the USA too if you go to an Asian supermarket) I've done the other kind too with more planning and a day or 2 of cooking too. Just suggesting that you can also do it without the planning and hours of cooking.

goialoq 9y ago

What makes dinner talk more profound than regular talk?