4 ms·

That's a good point. We generally don't talk about our finances or deep personal life (vs the stereotypical Chinese aunt who demands to know your income as well

That's a good point. We generally don't talk about our finances or deep personal life (vs the stereotypical Chinese aunt who demands to know your income as well as your dating history). American men tend to not talk about our emotions to one another. I'm not sure how best to describe the difference. When I talk to Japanese "friends", I feel that I am talking to a mask, or that they're playing a part. In the States, on the subjects that we are open with, we seem to want to show our true selves, whatever that may mean. In Japan I feel that every aspect of your communication is guarded.

ekianjo 9y ago
Its also because Japanese dont have much to talk about in the first place. Look at their media, its all tabloid level at best, and you would have a hard time finding people who talk about other things than completely mundane subjects in ANY context. I think this is mostly due to an education trying to kill any ounce of individual thinking.
- icebraining 9y ago
  How much time have you spent in Japan or among Japanese people?
  - hkmurakami 9y ago
    Iirc he lives in Japan. At least part of his position is true though -- the education system really doesn't cultivate critical thinking or original thought (other than the elite prep schools which are great at fostering individuality).
    - ugfgibcvg 9y ago
      > he lives in Japan. And of course, the only person in this thread who knows what they’re talking about gets downvoted to oblivion. Never change, HN.
      - icebraining 9y ago
        I didn't downvote ekianjo (my question was genuine), but I do think if one is going to tar an entire 127M country as mostly devoid of individual thinking, it's reasonable to expect them to provide some reason for doing so. Extraordinary claims and all that.
  - ekianjo 9y ago
    10 years and counting. Most of my working life with Japanese people.
hrktb 9y ago
This might not be for everyone, but I think alcohol helps a lot in this respect. The most sincere and interesting discussion were late into the night where half the people were sleeping under the table and the few left awake were articulating thoughts they had very deep in heart. There’s of course the part where everyone is a bit more lubricated, but there’s also the social protection of “being drunk” that helps to shield from repercutions if we step too far on people’s feelings. I found this specially true for people who are pretty strong to alcohol, and tend to wait for these “end of party” moments to start discussing intimate feelings, even if they are still almost sober.

ekianjo 9y ago

Its also because Japanese dont have much to talk about in the first place. Look at their media, its all tabloid level at best, and you would have a hard time finding people who talk about other things than completely mundane subjects in ANY context. I think this is mostly due to an education trying to kill any ounce of individual thinking.

icebraining 9y ago
How much time have you spent in Japan or among Japanese people?
- hkmurakami 9y ago
  Iirc he lives in Japan. At least part of his position is true though -- the education system really doesn't cultivate critical thinking or original thought (other than the elite prep schools which are great at fostering individuality).
  - ugfgibcvg 9y ago
    > he lives in Japan. And of course, the only person in this thread who knows what they’re talking about gets downvoted to oblivion. Never change, HN.
    - icebraining 9y ago
      I didn't downvote ekianjo (my question was genuine), but I do think if one is going to tar an entire 127M country as mostly devoid of individual thinking, it's reasonable to expect them to provide some reason for doing so. Extraordinary claims and all that.
- ekianjo 9y ago
  10 years and counting. Most of my working life with Japanese people.

hrktb 9y ago

This might not be for everyone, but I think alcohol helps a lot in this respect. The most sincere and interesting discussion were late into the night where half the people were sleeping under the table and the few left awake were articulating thoughts they had very deep in heart. There’s of course the part where everyone is a bit more lubricated, but there’s also the social protection of “being drunk” that helps to shield from repercutions if we step too far on people’s feelings. I found this specially true for people who are pretty strong to alcohol, and tend to wait for these “end of party” moments to start discussing intimate feelings, even if they are still almost sober.