5 ms·

This should be buried, and I would never invite her to speak again because she is drama. This is a trend of hyper sensitivity that requires everyone to walk on

This should be buried, and I would never invite her to speak again because she is drama. This is a trend of hyper sensitivity that requires everyone to walk on eggshells and wear kid gloves because who knows what could trigger the emotional reaction. Really, think about this - what if a company tries to do something fun, like for halloween, and buys clip-on ties for the guys and clip-on hair ties for the girls, but then someone flips out saying "I'm a guy why do i have to be stereotyped into having a tie, this is so sexist! (and the girls can do the reverse - I want a tie!). It's all just nonsense from people who don't have any emotional maturity, really. Were the conference organizers trying to do the wrong thing? Doesn't sound like it at all. They probably thought "wonder woman is cool, this lady is cool, this image will be cool" and it was actually an act to celebrate her. Instead she flips out. Great, real mature. Then she posts conversations she had with them and demonizes them. real mature. And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complained about being sexualized because now his face is on a shirtless strong dude. These arguments only go one way for people like this. There is a line, of course, and sexual harassment is real. But this isn't anywhere near the line, its not even in the same field. We need to send a message back to her that she is the one being drama and needs to grow up and be a 'real adult' like she says she is.

deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
aaron-lebo 9y ago
You should grow up and learn to empathize with people different than you. It's not hard, you just have to imagine why someone with a different background than you might feel different about events than you do. She's much closer to this event, anyway, so I'm sure she's got a better opinion on it than you. And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complained about being sexualized because now his face is on a shirtless strong dude. These arguments only go one way for people like this. You really don't see the difference between a male being sexualized among a mostly male audience, and a female who wants to be treated as a professional being sexualized? It's not that hard to figure out.
- nv-vn 9y ago
  I think people might agree with you more if you wrote this in a tone that is even slightly condescending. If your approach to responding to people who disagree with you is trying to shame them for their behavior and shut them out then nobody will ever want to hear out your argument or consider it.
  - aaron-lebo 9y ago
    Not attempting to reason with someone so ideological, just want him to be aware that is viewpoint isn't ok. We need to send a message back to her that she is the one being drama and needs to grow up and be a 'real adult' like she says she is. Honestly that just sounds threatening, it's not alright.
    - nv-vn 9y ago
      >His viewpoint isn't okay And yet you call upon him to act like an adult. Anyways, I'd love to hear what defines a viewpoint as okay. Is it just the fact that it agrees with your viewpoint? I imagine you are some kind of authority on life who knows what every valid and invalid view is.
- encinotech 9y ago
  Maybe the guy is homosexual. Maybe his boyfriend will get pissed off now that the other homosexual men in the audience may react to him differently. Who knows You even say that "a male being sexualized in a mostly male audience" is ok. HOW IS THAT OK? You literally can't make judgements about what is OK or not, because you can't empathize with each person in each scenario who "knows it better than you" and if someone gets upset because reasons The point is even if everyone tries to act their best, you have no idea what will set her off, or the next person. And you are supporting a society where this behavior is OK. That is wrong.
  - aaron-lebo 9y ago
    Yeah, didn't say that was ok, I was trying to explain to you that maybe, just maybe, that scenario might make someone uncomfortable. You've decided her reason are invalid, that's not how it works. You're complaining about her "demonizing" people, but you decided to make an account to demonize her without a shred of empathy. What's your excuse for why this bothers you so much?
sb8244 9y ago
I don't think that placing all of the blame on her, as it seems you are doing (and flagging most likely as well) helps with the conversation in the industry right now. Your entire comment blames her response rather than the stimulus. You can say that you don't like her public response, but the response of the organizers and inability to send a quick note before doing what they did places some of this on them as well. I submitted this in the hopes that someone who organizes a conference in the future can have the insight to ask before doing something like this.
Cthulhu_ 9y ago
> And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complained about being sexualized because now his face is on a shirtless strong dude. That would also be against the code of conduct and in poor taste. Don't measure with two measures - and neither should the organizers. Even not shirtless superheroes are overly sexualized, near-impossible male standards of asthetics, strength, and personality traits like superhero levels of patriotism and whatnot. Denying it's not problematic because it's men is applying a double standard.
dang 9y ago
You've crossed into personal attack and made a throwaway account to create—ironically—flamewar drama of your own. Both of these are bannable offenses on Hacker News, so I've banned this account. Make accounts to break the HN guidelines with will eventually get your main account banned as well, so please don't do that. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

aaron-lebo 9y ago

You should grow up and learn to empathize with people different than you. It's not hard, you just have to imagine why someone with a different background than you might feel different about events than you do. She's much closer to this event, anyway, so I'm sure she's got a better opinion on it than you. And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complained about being sexualized because now his face is on a shirtless strong dude. These arguments only go one way for people like this. You really don't see the difference between a male being sexualized among a mostly male audience, and a female who wants to be treated as a professional being sexualized? It's not that hard to figure out.

nv-vn 9y ago
I think people might agree with you more if you wrote this in a tone that is even slightly condescending. If your approach to responding to people who disagree with you is trying to shame them for their behavior and shut them out then nobody will ever want to hear out your argument or consider it.
- aaron-lebo 9y ago
  Not attempting to reason with someone so ideological, just want him to be aware that is viewpoint isn't ok. We need to send a message back to her that she is the one being drama and needs to grow up and be a 'real adult' like she says she is. Honestly that just sounds threatening, it's not alright.
  - nv-vn 9y ago
    >His viewpoint isn't okay And yet you call upon him to act like an adult. Anyways, I'd love to hear what defines a viewpoint as okay. Is it just the fact that it agrees with your viewpoint? I imagine you are some kind of authority on life who knows what every valid and invalid view is.
encinotech 9y ago
Maybe the guy is homosexual. Maybe his boyfriend will get pissed off now that the other homosexual men in the audience may react to him differently. Who knows You even say that "a male being sexualized in a mostly male audience" is ok. HOW IS THAT OK? You literally can't make judgements about what is OK or not, because you can't empathize with each person in each scenario who "knows it better than you" and if someone gets upset because reasons The point is even if everyone tries to act their best, you have no idea what will set her off, or the next person. And you are supporting a society where this behavior is OK. That is wrong.
- aaron-lebo 9y ago
  Yeah, didn't say that was ok, I was trying to explain to you that maybe, just maybe, that scenario might make someone uncomfortable. You've decided her reason are invalid, that's not how it works. You're complaining about her "demonizing" people, but you decided to make an account to demonize her without a shred of empathy. What's your excuse for why this bothers you so much?

sb8244 9y ago

I don't think that placing all of the blame on her, as it seems you are doing (and flagging most likely as well) helps with the conversation in the industry right now. Your entire comment blames her response rather than the stimulus. You can say that you don't like her public response, but the response of the organizers and inability to send a quick note before doing what they did places some of this on them as well. I submitted this in the hopes that someone who organizes a conference in the future can have the insight to ask before doing something like this.

Cthulhu_ 9y ago

> And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complained about being sexualized because now his face is on a shirtless strong dude. That would also be against the code of conduct and in poor taste. Don't measure with two measures - and neither should the organizers. Even not shirtless superheroes are overly sexualized, near-impossible male standards of asthetics, strength, and personality traits like superhero levels of patriotism and whatnot. Denying it's not problematic because it's men is applying a double standard.

dang 9y ago

You've crossed into personal attack and made a throwaway account to create—ironically—flamewar drama of your own. Both of these are bannable offenses on Hacker News, so I've banned this account. Make accounts to break the HN guidelines with will eventually get your main account banned as well, so please don't do that. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html