You can absolutely pity someone, while still not tolerating the behavior and reinforcing bad behavior by giving them things. Understanding where someone comes

You can absolutely pity someone, while still not tolerating the behavior and reinforcing bad behavior by giving them things. Understanding where someone comes from is empathy. That's a good thing to have and doesn't make you a sucker. However, at some point in his life, he became an adult and has to take responsibility for his actions. If you keep giving a pass because of trauma that happened in his childhood, that now makes you a sucker. If anything, society should try to provide people like this with counseling, psychological support, etc. However, at some point, they still have to make the choice to be a contributing member of society.