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Sorry but this doesn't seem like harassment to me. Read his email without projecting any tone, it sounds totally reasonable. Your mentor also wasn't being sexi

Sorry but this doesn't seem like harassment to me. Read his email without projecting any tone, it sounds totally reasonable. Your mentor also wasn't being sexist, he was suggesting you not start a startup by discarding the most passionate team member who helped write the prize-winning software. I'm not seeing the "you're a woman and I'm threatening you" anywhere. "By the way I designed cool t-shirts, you want one?" and "Lets not have any bad vibes due to this", doesn't sound like "Do what I want or I'll kill you." Maybe the guy is selfish, and intensely trying to "make it" (sounds like a young over-eager tech guy), but he's not threatening to attack or "victimizing" due to sexist views imo. If someone disagrees, please provide one shred of evidence. As best I can make out its summarized with the big-text quote midway through: "He didn’t use all caps. He didn’t swear. He didn’t yell. All he did was calmly… threaten. Subtly… insinuate. And distance himself from reality, little by little." I'm not impressed, the bar has been raised for claims of harassment and victimization. If you had spent your whole weekend working around the clock on a project that won the prize on your own code, only to be told your dreams were now crushed because you "weren't a good fit", you'd probably be begging to find a way to hold onto the tickets or the project as well, whether your boss was male or female. [Edit] And also, the mentors, the coordinators, the others in the posts all seem to agree that this isn't harassment. This really points to an issue with hackathons in general. You have people contributing to a "startup", then getting tickets to an expo, all without any contracts, just some verbal agreements -- these type of disagreements are bound to happen.

MagicMouseTrap 9y ago
This is exactly how I felt too; nowhere in his responses do I see any form or sexual harassment. Sure, the person is a little intense and doesn't seem to get the hint, but this isn't at all related to gender. There's absolutely no reason to pull gender into this at all. At what point does the line blur between needing special treatment because you're a different gender and equality? Edit: after rereading the article I realize my comment might've been a bit knee-jerky. However, I do feel the author puts emphasis on the gender of the people referenced in the story. Above all the line "I considered: what would a male CEO do in this situation?" feels like a forced focus on gender. But I concede; the article focusses on harassment in general, not sexual, mea culpa.
- openasocket 9y ago
  Nowhere does the author claim this was sexual harassment, simply that it was harassment. It uses the word "sexism" once, and "sexist" twice, in both cases referring to the condescending response of mentors and others to her complaints about this person.
- alexandercrohde 9y ago
  > At what point does the line blur between needing special treatment because you're a different gender and equality? Well, as I read this piece she's describing potentially abusive behavior, but not gender related. I read it as a shitstorm of over-intense personalities with optimistic dreams of being the next big thing creating an awful environment for eachother. Somebody of either gender could have a bitter ex-teammate who wants to undercut them. So I read this as a criticism of the atmosphere of hackathons rather than a women-in-tech issue. Now, the philosophical question is whether this distinction means I agree or disagree with the author.
  - CodeLikeAGirl 9y ago
    It isn't claiming to be sexual Harassment, but Harassment in general. This story would be equally awful it it happened to a man. However, a man wouldn't have to think about his personal safety as much by attending the event they won. So the result of the Harassment plays out differently for each gender.
    - trgv 9y ago
      > a man wouldn't have to think about his personal safety as much by attending the event they won. Can you elaborate?
      - cannonedhamster 9y ago
        A man generally is not at the same disadvantage physically should someone decide to attack or overpower them. Even if things were uncomfortable they could reasonably expect to defend themselves.
openasocket 9y ago
> I'm not impressed, the bar has been raised for claims of harassment and victimization This attitude really frustrates me. This isn't a court of law, the man in question isn't accused of a crime, and his name is even withheld so his reputation is not at stake. She is under no obligation to turn over evidence for the public to sift through. And just because she doesn't have some smoking-gun "I'll kill you!" email doesn't mean there wasn't harassment going on. He refused to take "no" for an answer, and she says she felt unsafe being in the same room as him. She's not doing this as revenge against him, or she would have given his name. She's not doing this because she's bitter about losing the competition because she won. Why can't we, even for a moment, believe this woman when she says "I don't feel safe" ? > If you had spent your whole weekend working around the clock on a project that won the prize on your own code, only to be told your dreams were now crushed because you "weren't a good fit", you'd probably be begging to find a way to hold onto the tickets or the project as well From the Techstars FAQ: "Whether or not you continue to work on the idea with some or all of your team is completely up to you. Approximately 25% of Techstars Startup Weekend participants continue working on their idea with all of their team". What she did wasn't unusual, in fact it's what the majority of participants do.
- jaxmurr 9y ago
  > She's not doing this as revenge against him, or she would have given his name. She's not doing this because she's bitter about losing the competition because she won. Why can't we, even for a moment, believe this woman when she says "I don't feel safe" ? If she felt unsafe why didn't she just get a restraining order? Unless, of course, there wasn't adequate evidence to get one in the first place.
  - openasocket 9y ago
    That's not how restraining orders work, it generally applies to things like direct death threats or physical altercations. They also take a long time to put in place and is a pretty extreme step to take. Instead she fired him from her startup, is that so unreasonable?
    - 9y ago

MagicMouseTrap 9y ago

This is exactly how I felt too; nowhere in his responses do I see any form or sexual harassment. Sure, the person is a little intense and doesn't seem to get the hint, but this isn't at all related to gender. There's absolutely no reason to pull gender into this at all. At what point does the line blur between needing special treatment because you're a different gender and equality? Edit: after rereading the article I realize my comment might've been a bit knee-jerky. However, I do feel the author puts emphasis on the gender of the people referenced in the story. Above all the line "I considered: what would a male CEO do in this situation?" feels like a forced focus on gender. But I concede; the article focusses on harassment in general, not sexual, mea culpa.

openasocket 9y ago
Nowhere does the author claim this was sexual harassment, simply that it was harassment. It uses the word "sexism" once, and "sexist" twice, in both cases referring to the condescending response of mentors and others to her complaints about this person.
alexandercrohde 9y ago
> At what point does the line blur between needing special treatment because you're a different gender and equality? Well, as I read this piece she's describing potentially abusive behavior, but not gender related. I read it as a shitstorm of over-intense personalities with optimistic dreams of being the next big thing creating an awful environment for eachother. Somebody of either gender could have a bitter ex-teammate who wants to undercut them. So I read this as a criticism of the atmosphere of hackathons rather than a women-in-tech issue. Now, the philosophical question is whether this distinction means I agree or disagree with the author.
- CodeLikeAGirl 9y ago
  It isn't claiming to be sexual Harassment, but Harassment in general. This story would be equally awful it it happened to a man. However, a man wouldn't have to think about his personal safety as much by attending the event they won. So the result of the Harassment plays out differently for each gender.
  - trgv 9y ago
    > a man wouldn't have to think about his personal safety as much by attending the event they won. Can you elaborate?
    - cannonedhamster 9y ago
      A man generally is not at the same disadvantage physically should someone decide to attack or overpower them. Even if things were uncomfortable they could reasonably expect to defend themselves.

openasocket 9y ago

> I'm not impressed, the bar has been raised for claims of harassment and victimization This attitude really frustrates me. This isn't a court of law, the man in question isn't accused of a crime, and his name is even withheld so his reputation is not at stake. She is under no obligation to turn over evidence for the public to sift through. And just because she doesn't have some smoking-gun "I'll kill you!" email doesn't mean there wasn't harassment going on. He refused to take "no" for an answer, and she says she felt unsafe being in the same room as him. She's not doing this as revenge against him, or she would have given his name. She's not doing this because she's bitter about losing the competition because she won. Why can't we, even for a moment, believe this woman when she says "I don't feel safe" ? > If you had spent your whole weekend working around the clock on a project that won the prize on your own code, only to be told your dreams were now crushed because you "weren't a good fit", you'd probably be begging to find a way to hold onto the tickets or the project as well From the Techstars FAQ: "Whether or not you continue to work on the idea with some or all of your team is completely up to you. Approximately 25% of Techstars Startup Weekend participants continue working on their idea with all of their team". What she did wasn't unusual, in fact it's what the majority of participants do.

jaxmurr 9y ago
> She's not doing this as revenge against him, or she would have given his name. She's not doing this because she's bitter about losing the competition because she won. Why can't we, even for a moment, believe this woman when she says "I don't feel safe" ? If she felt unsafe why didn't she just get a restraining order? Unless, of course, there wasn't adequate evidence to get one in the first place.
- openasocket 9y ago
  That's not how restraining orders work, it generally applies to things like direct death threats or physical altercations. They also take a long time to put in place and is a pretty extreme step to take. Instead she fired him from her startup, is that so unreasonable?
  - 9y ago