The article mostly throws up its metaphorical hands and concludes "maybe, language is hard", which is fair enough. But: > if your spouse is your best friend,

The article mostly throws up its metaphorical hands and concludes "maybe, language is hard", which is fair enough. But: > if your spouse is your best friend, then whom do you complain to your spouse about? Complaining about your spouse to your friends is a wonderful way to damage your relationship; the unthinking assumption that you should be venting about your spouse is harmful and should be challenged. > Dr. Bader said that she wished popular magazines would challenge the notion that you shouldn’t get married to change someone. “I think that’s what marriage is about,” she said. That sounds like horrifying bad advice if taken literally. I hope there was some context that was omitted from the article. People certainly can and do change, and obviously spouses should help encourage each other to change for the better. So sure, marriage is, in part, about change, inasmuch as marriage is a part of life, and life is about change. But to get married in order to change someone? As in "wow, I hate how extroverted this person I'm dating is, I know we'll get married so I can make them introverted"? That's the opposite of a good idea, and warning people off it is a staple of popular magazines, unpopular magazines, relationship counselling, and dating advice because it's a really dumb notion.