Re. Attractiveness: His being attractive wasn’t relevant to the career effects. She literally just said, “too bad; I would’ve enjoyed going out with him if not

Re. Attractiveness: His being attractive wasn’t relevant to the career effects. She literally just said, “too bad; I would’ve enjoyed going out with him if not for the career effects.” It’s... actually completely irrelevant to the point of the post, except to say “the career effects are bad enough that they make me say no even to people I’d otherwise like to date.” It’s evidence of the weight of the effect. It doesn’t make the asking-out better or worse, and it’s unclear why that’s the direction of your question.