It slams doors shut because: If things don’t work out into a very long term relationship, entering his department would likely involve significant tension, if

It slams doors shut because: If things don’t work out into a very long term relationship, entering his department would likely involve significant tension, if not hostility. How many people can work in close quarters with an ex? How many interactions can it bias - with him, with his current departmental colleagues? Will he handle it ending maturely? So many people don’t, and it’s a career at stake. And if it does work out, or for as long as it’s working, she will be undermined as the recipient of nepotism rather than making her career transitions on merit alone. Running the risk of being seen as someone who sleeps their way to the top is also likely to have detrimental long-term career effects. His asking closed doors for her just because she has foresight, not because he said “on the bed or on the road.” These are the sort of consequences that guys ignore when they whine about not being able to hit on women at work. The irony is: guys with more foresight/maturity get this, so they don’t ask. It’s the guys asking who are -also- more likely to be a fucking problem, because they’re exhibiting bad judgment to begin with. This isn’t some new over-sensitive ultra-feminist whatever whatever thing. “Don’t shit where you eat” is old advice, and always appropriate.