4 ms·

Amends and penance are not the same thing. Amends are about reparations for the victim. Penance is about suffering for the perpetrator. These things are mostly

• discoursism 9y ago
  I was talking about penance, and I also used the word penance, so we're good, right? The quoted section is what made me think about this aspect of the issue.
  • Mz 9y ago
    You are entitled to your views. But, I don't want my remarks about amends conflated with penance. I replied at all because of this line: I'd just once love to see one of these abusers make some kind of serious penance. I considered replying at length and decided against it. My initial impulse was to feel like I can give you the thing you are asking for. But, then I realized, no, I can't. The individual that raped me made amends. But, he did not do penance. I eventually forgave him, in part because he made amends. I never got the apology I spent years wanting, nor any confession of guilt. I eventually concluded it wasn't important. I don't imagine you actually want to hear that. So, I decided to not write about it. What you want is for these people to suffer. In a sense, you want some kind of revenge. I generally do not. I would much rather see reparations made to those who were harmed. Ghandi said "An eye for an eye will leave us all blind." I don't think you build peacefulness and positive environments by going on the warpath. Peace is not merely the absence of something negative. Peacefulness or a peaceful environment is an actively positive experience that can be remarkably hard to try to describe effectively. It is probably a mistake to reply here. It feels equally problematic to not reply. I will likely not engage further.