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This actually kind of upends my assumptions, and I just realized that this is not the first time. My assumption was that 'men follow their dicks' more than wom
by mercer 9y ago
This actually kind of upends my assumptions, and I just realized that this is not the first time.
My assumption was that 'men follow their dicks' more than women follow their equivalent sexual organs. But truthfully I've experienced plenty of situations that disagree with that conclusion.
Tentatively I'd say that while men do seem 'follow their dicks' in a more obvious way, my experience is that once women cross a certain threshold they do just the same, and perhaps even in a more extreme way (which psychologically is a rather obvious dynamic).
Again, that's a tentative conclusion. At the very least I've definitely had to let go of the idea that men are more likely than women to let 'horniness' get in the way of sound judgment. It's just such a strong narrative that I forget sometimes.
- Mz 9y agoMy conclusion is that women generally value "love" and a serious relationship over casual encounters because a somewhat high degree of trust is a prerequisite for female orgasm to occur. So, when a woman is trying to arrange a relationship, she is really just trying to get off. It just isn't as readily apparent as the male process because the timeframe is longer and the process is more convoluted.
- Chris2048 9y agoIf "love" is "a somewhat high degree of trust" then how do you explain attraction to risky or "bad boy" men?
- digi_owl 9y ago"Fitness" (in the survival of the fittest sense) i guess is the overall theme. And confusingly, the choice of "bad" men may change depending on how close to ovulation the lady is.
- Mz 9y agoI think the answer to that is long and complicated. But a couple of things readily come to mind: First, since sex is inherently dangerous for a long list of reasons, I suspect humans will never entirely escape an association between danger and attraction/sexiness. Second, bad boys aren't necessarily a threat to her. Instead, they can very well be a threat to the control other people wish to exercise over her. If "good girls don't," then a "bad boy" can be the solution. In some sense, he takes the blame for her "bad behavior" of getting her sexual needs met. Bad boys are often men who do not respect the social norm that if a woman is in a relationship, she is off limits, not out of respect for her, but out of respect for her man's property rights. A bad boy who treats a woman like an actual human being in her own right, and social norms be damned, can be not only a good partner, but the best antidote to some really toxic social norms. The assumption that societally labeled "bad boys" are really bad people is a pretty one dimensional view of a very complicated thing.