My concern is that most of society seems to have accepted that popular "isms" are bad, but only the officially designated ones. Then they're free to be as offen

My concern is that most of society seems to have accepted that popular "isms" are bad, but only the officially designated ones. Then they're free to be as offensive as they like to any other groups of people. You're able to publicly say the things you did without causing any outrage. Yet if you do the same about protected classes, it's socially unacceptable. This shows that followers of the culture don't actually have concern for people being insulted, they just pretend to be concerned when they know everyone will agree with them. That's virtue signalling which I see as hypocritical. I understand that you help people when they have problems. I don't think that makes is OK to insult them though. It's easy to be frustrated when people repeatedly don't do what you tell them, and feel smugness when they suffer the consequences. To pull out another analogy, we don't mock victims of industrial accidents for failing to follow the safety rules 100% of the time, despite being told those rules. Instead, we look for ways to make it harder to suffer the accidents. Don't forget that just about every problem that people suffer is somehow due to their own actions. Life's full of rules you're supposed to follow but nobody can reliable follow them all the time, and if you did, you'd surely not get far or have much fun. People everywhere still crash their cars, turn up to work late, get preventable diseases, etc. I think it's offensive to blame them for their suffering.