5 ms·

I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

196 points by pain_perdu 9y ago

arjie 9y ago
This looks like the Equinox Pine Street location (in the FiDi), not the Equinox Sports Club on Market Street. Not that it matters for the story, but the headline's off target. The actual story is pretty fucked up, though.
chatman 9y ago
Why are you speaking up now? Just go to the police and spare us.
- blumomo 9y ago
  Don't be ignorant and read the article. He went to the police since Equinox didn't behave how they should have behaved. Kudos for the male author to share his story.
- marindez 9y ago
  White homosexual in SF. Nothing will ever happen to him.
- alsetmusic 9y ago
  > Within days of the assault, I decided to report the incident to the police. The police investigator tried to track down the yoga instructor, but initially Equinox wouldn’t cooperate. Equinox initially refused to acknowledge the existence of the yoga room security tapes and they would not release the phone number of the instructor or even help try to get him on the phone with the police. But, when the investigator and a member of the District Attorney’s Office finally got legal access to the tapes, both agreed that the actions of the yoga instructor were bizarre, unethical, unprofessional, and inappropriate. The investigator also told me that the instructor had been terminated from the gym.
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
marindez 9y ago
You go to a yoga class with a male instructor, what did you expect lmao
- sctb 9y ago
  We've banned this account for repeatedly violating the guidelines. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
gphreak 9y ago
I'm sorry that happened to you and thanks for speaking up. The way the company treated you is beyond awful.
blumomo 9y ago
I regularly went to a gym in Jakarta and tried the massage service since it's cheap compared to the western. One of the masseurs was male and I confirm with the author that it's hard for heterosexual men to perceive subtle actions taken by gay instructors/masseurs. Initially you attribute certain behaviors to cultural differences but luckily I realized why the masseur kept asking to continue selling his service to me. It felt very awkward for me too and obviously I skipped any future massage in that gym. I give my respect to the male author about speaking up. You can see easily how dumb some of the commenters are in this thread failing to recognize the value of that article.
sarcasm_heals 9y ago
This has to stop. A 33/hetero/male doesn't expose a gay rapist yoga instructor by writing an expose in the form of an erotic novel on Medium. Also-- Why is this on the front fucking page of Hacker News?
koolba 9y ago
> Three weeks after I’d sent Equinox a request for assistance, I received a call from a senior global executive. Without an ounce of compassion, he told me I was banned from Equinox — that, as a private gym, they had the right to cancel my membership for any reason, and they’ve decided to terminate mine. I bet this came from the legal department. It seems blunt (and it is), but the rationale would be something like, "This guy got assaulted, we may be liable for something, let's keep him away so we don't make things worse until its settled.". Not so much victim blaming as covering your ass going forward. > In my view, this is deplorable. As the major leading fitness brand, Equinox should never take this kind of approach in dealing with customers. I’ve paid over $10,000 in fees over the past two years, and I did not deserve to be treated so disrespectfully by the instructor, and I do not know why I should have been banned. For Equinox to cancel my membership, to ban me from the gym for no apparent reason only feeds a culture of victim-blaming. $10K for a gym membership over two years?! That over $416/month. Is that normal for the area?
- HorizonXP 9y ago
  $416/month is higher than I pay, but I have been an Equinox member for years, and yes, it is very expensive. I started going when I was in SV working at a tech company that paid 50% of my dues. Currently, I pay $180 CAD/month right now, plus another $90 CAD/month for a dedicated locker with laundry service. It's expensive, and I could certainly get a cheaper membership elsewhere. But it fits perfectly into my daily routine, and is part of why I've lost 40 lbs over the last 3 months, so for me, it's a worthwhile expense.
- fpig 9y ago
  If he was sexually assaulted and they're banning him to cover their own ass, that's way worse than victim blaming as it suggests they are aware the victim is not at fault yet they punish the victim anyway. An economic incentive does not excuse immoral acts. It's disgusting how quick people are to defend this kind of behavior. Anyone who was involved in making that decision is a worthless piece of shit.
  - yorwba 9y ago
    I always find it sad when an explanation of the reasoning behind some immoral behavior is treated like a justification or defense. I find it sad because it discourages understanding opinions you disagree with, and because I think that understanding is important. If Equinox acted that way simply because they are an evil corporation, nothing could be done about it; but if they followed an economic incentive, then changing the incentive structure can prevent that kind of behavior in the future.
matt4077 9y ago
This has 100 votes after one hour. It has no connection to technology. It's an unverified post on medium. And the punishment referred to in the headline is that the $5000/yr membership to his gym was cancelled. Meanwhile, discussions of women' discrimination, in the tech sector, from reputable sources are flagged as fast as possible. C. f.: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15267221 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15267221
- Dowwie 9y ago
  I agree with you about the questionable nature of this post's popularity on Hacker News and also question its validity. I am confident that many others would agree. There are many other relevant stories that fail to rise through the ranks here, not just the one you mentioned.
  - aaron-lebo 9y ago
    That happens 24 hours a day and has been happening for 10 years on this site. Why does this story seem so absurd and unjustified to you? Why does this topic bring out such crazy reactions to it? It's weird to see in action.
    - deleted 9y ago
      [deleted]
- leereeves 9y ago
  Stories about men who've been the victim of sexual assault are often buried and silenced. Please don't try to do that. It's likely this must be "an unverified medium post" because the media and the authorities often ignore these stories.
  - zach43 9y ago
    Why do you think the parent comment is trying to silence anyone? To me it just seems like they’re providing evidence of a hypocritical attitude here.
zaroth 9y ago
Kudos to the author for reporting the incident and going to the police. That there turned out to be video of the whole incident was very fortuitous and it sounds like the police have a copy now. The instructor was fired. Presumably the ex-instructor is being charged with a crime? That part is missing from the story. As to being punished for speaking up -- the gym terminated the authors membershhip because it seems to me that the author has an open/shut civil lawsuit against the gym, and they are expecting to get sued? I assume it's easy to find lawyers who would take this on contingency and probably reach a quick settlement.
WhitneyLand 9y ago
Amazingly, a comment below was critical of “writing an erotic novel on medium”, yet to me it was so non-erotic I couldn’t even understand the mechanics of the assault. Was this intercourse, touching? I guess he’s damned if he makes it too detailed and damned if he doesn’t. Separately there’s a thread about Equinox protecting business interests. Even if that’s true it sounds like a double standard, I would bet they would not think they could get away with stonewalling so much if the victim were a vulnerable looking woman.
lr4444lr 9y ago
I'm sure I'm going to get heavily flagged for this, but even as written from the complainant's PoV, the ambiguous nature of consent (i.e. as it happens in the real world, not in the law books) - must it be verbal, can be it simple acquiescence in a non-coercive setting - jumped out at me. I would not be surprised if the yoga instructor genuinely believes, even if mistakenly, this was consensual. I hope this comment isn't construed as victim blaming or trying to make light of what was a scarring experience for someone, and I certainly don't think Equinox staff handled it well.
mkorfmann 9y ago
Why did this get flagged?
dennisgorelik 9y ago
That story reads like a trolling/parody to me. Read also sarcasm_heals's comment (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15471817 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15471817) which was, unfortunately, downvoted to death.

196 points by pain_perdu 9y ago

This looks like the Equinox Pine Street location (in the FiDi), not the Equinox Sports Club on Market Street. Not that it matters for the story, but the headline's off target. The actual story is pretty fucked up, though.

chatman 9y ago

Why are you speaking up now? Just go to the police and spare us.

blumomo 9y ago
Don't be ignorant and read the article. He went to the police since Equinox didn't behave how they should have behaved. Kudos for the male author to share his story.
marindez 9y ago
White homosexual in SF. Nothing will ever happen to him.
alsetmusic 9y ago
> Within days of the assault, I decided to report the incident to the police. The police investigator tried to track down the yoga instructor, but initially Equinox wouldn’t cooperate. Equinox initially refused to acknowledge the existence of the yoga room security tapes and they would not release the phone number of the instructor or even help try to get him on the phone with the police. But, when the investigator and a member of the District Attorney’s Office finally got legal access to the tapes, both agreed that the actions of the yoga instructor were bizarre, unethical, unprofessional, and inappropriate. The investigator also told me that the instructor had been terminated from the gym.

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

marindez 9y ago

You go to a yoga class with a male instructor, what did you expect lmao

sctb 9y ago
We've banned this account for repeatedly violating the guidelines. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

gphreak 9y ago

I'm sorry that happened to you and thanks for speaking up. The way the company treated you is beyond awful.

blumomo 9y ago

I regularly went to a gym in Jakarta and tried the massage service since it's cheap compared to the western. One of the masseurs was male and I confirm with the author that it's hard for heterosexual men to perceive subtle actions taken by gay instructors/masseurs. Initially you attribute certain behaviors to cultural differences but luckily I realized why the masseur kept asking to continue selling his service to me. It felt very awkward for me too and obviously I skipped any future massage in that gym. I give my respect to the male author about speaking up. You can see easily how dumb some of the commenters are in this thread failing to recognize the value of that article.

sarcasm_heals 9y ago

This has to stop. A 33/hetero/male doesn't expose a gay rapist yoga instructor by writing an expose in the form of an erotic novel on Medium. Also-- Why is this on the front fucking page of Hacker News?

koolba 9y ago

> Three weeks after I’d sent Equinox a request for assistance, I received a call from a senior global executive. Without an ounce of compassion, he told me I was banned from Equinox — that, as a private gym, they had the right to cancel my membership for any reason, and they’ve decided to terminate mine. I bet this came from the legal department. It seems blunt (and it is), but the rationale would be something like, "This guy got assaulted, we may be liable for something, let's keep him away so we don't make things worse until its settled.". Not so much victim blaming as covering your ass going forward. > In my view, this is deplorable. As the major leading fitness brand, Equinox should never take this kind of approach in dealing with customers. I’ve paid over $10,000 in fees over the past two years, and I did not deserve to be treated so disrespectfully by the instructor, and I do not know why I should have been banned. For Equinox to cancel my membership, to ban me from the gym for no apparent reason only feeds a culture of victim-blaming. $10K for a gym membership over two years?! That over $416/month. Is that normal for the area?

HorizonXP 9y ago
$416/month is higher than I pay, but I have been an Equinox member for years, and yes, it is very expensive. I started going when I was in SV working at a tech company that paid 50% of my dues. Currently, I pay $180 CAD/month right now, plus another $90 CAD/month for a dedicated locker with laundry service. It's expensive, and I could certainly get a cheaper membership elsewhere. But it fits perfectly into my daily routine, and is part of why I've lost 40 lbs over the last 3 months, so for me, it's a worthwhile expense.
fpig 9y ago
If he was sexually assaulted and they're banning him to cover their own ass, that's way worse than victim blaming as it suggests they are aware the victim is not at fault yet they punish the victim anyway. An economic incentive does not excuse immoral acts. It's disgusting how quick people are to defend this kind of behavior. Anyone who was involved in making that decision is a worthless piece of shit.
- yorwba 9y ago
  I always find it sad when an explanation of the reasoning behind some immoral behavior is treated like a justification or defense. I find it sad because it discourages understanding opinions you disagree with, and because I think that understanding is important. If Equinox acted that way simply because they are an evil corporation, nothing could be done about it; but if they followed an economic incentive, then changing the incentive structure can prevent that kind of behavior in the future.

matt4077 9y ago

This has 100 votes after one hour. It has no connection to technology. It's an unverified post on medium. And the punishment referred to in the headline is that the $5000/yr membership to his gym was cancelled. Meanwhile, discussions of women' discrimination, in the tech sector, from reputable sources are flagged as fast as possible. C. f.: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15267221 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15267221

Dowwie 9y ago
I agree with you about the questionable nature of this post's popularity on Hacker News and also question its validity. I am confident that many others would agree. There are many other relevant stories that fail to rise through the ranks here, not just the one you mentioned.
- aaron-lebo 9y ago
  That happens 24 hours a day and has been happening for 10 years on this site. Why does this story seem so absurd and unjustified to you? Why does this topic bring out such crazy reactions to it? It's weird to see in action.
  - deleted 9y ago
    [deleted]
leereeves 9y ago
Stories about men who've been the victim of sexual assault are often buried and silenced. Please don't try to do that. It's likely this must be "an unverified medium post" because the media and the authorities often ignore these stories.
- zach43 9y ago
  Why do you think the parent comment is trying to silence anyone? To me it just seems like they’re providing evidence of a hypocritical attitude here.

zaroth 9y ago

Kudos to the author for reporting the incident and going to the police. That there turned out to be video of the whole incident was very fortuitous and it sounds like the police have a copy now. The instructor was fired. Presumably the ex-instructor is being charged with a crime? That part is missing from the story. As to being punished for speaking up -- the gym terminated the authors membershhip because it seems to me that the author has an open/shut civil lawsuit against the gym, and they are expecting to get sued? I assume it's easy to find lawyers who would take this on contingency and probably reach a quick settlement.

WhitneyLand 9y ago

Amazingly, a comment below was critical of “writing an erotic novel on medium”, yet to me it was so non-erotic I couldn’t even understand the mechanics of the assault. Was this intercourse, touching? I guess he’s damned if he makes it too detailed and damned if he doesn’t. Separately there’s a thread about Equinox protecting business interests. Even if that’s true it sounds like a double standard, I would bet they would not think they could get away with stonewalling so much if the victim were a vulnerable looking woman.

lr4444lr 9y ago

I'm sure I'm going to get heavily flagged for this, but even as written from the complainant's PoV, the ambiguous nature of consent (i.e. as it happens in the real world, not in the law books) - must it be verbal, can be it simple acquiescence in a non-coercive setting - jumped out at me. I would not be surprised if the yoga instructor genuinely believes, even if mistakenly, this was consensual. I hope this comment isn't construed as victim blaming or trying to make light of what was a scarring experience for someone, and I certainly don't think Equinox staff handled it well.

mkorfmann 9y ago

Why did this get flagged?

dennisgorelik 9y ago

That story reads like a trolling/parody to me. Read also sarcasm_heals's comment (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15471817 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15471817) which was, unfortunately, downvoted to death.