4 ms·

Not sure, perhaps you are reading too much into this statement, or alternatively you’re reframing it in the worst possible way. In any case I’d say chill out a

by eecc 9y ago

Not sure, perhaps you are reading too much into this statement, or alternatively you’re reframing it in the worst possible way. In any case I’d say chill out a bit. I read it differently, as in: the most sought for men, those actively pursued by women, have more options so the date churn is higher. Also: what’s wrong with “Just for benefits”? If both consent and agree I see nothing sad about it

ohyes 9y ago
I don't view sex for sex's sake any differently than I'd view masturbation. As long as everyone is reasonably safe I'm not passing judgement and I don't care. I do it whenever I can. I wasn't particularly worked up when I made my original post, I was more coming from a place of being disheartened. I was reacting to the idea that a man apparently wouldn't have a reason to commit to a women (or multiple women, or any consistent relationship) if he was sufficiently attractive to just go out and pick up random women. Even from the perspective of purely sexual satisfaction there are good reasons to get to know your partner's proclivities (and vice versa) so you can both have a better experience. But more importantly, reducing the human relationship aspect of 'dating' to nil is foolish. There are certain biological realities of legacy and eventual death. It isn't a fluke that people form meaningful bonds and social groups, it is part of how we cope with our own mortality. And yes, I do find a worldview that basically reduces other people to "objects for me to get off on," as offensive, it demeans me and the person I'm with. Maybe I am judging certain people's decisions and am bad for that, but I'm only judging them in the same way I'd judge someone overcooking and putting ketchup on a good steak. Life can be so much better than that narrow view, but you have to put in some effort (and take some risk, frankly) to experience the betterness.

by eecc 9y ago

ohyes 9y ago

I don't view sex for sex's sake any differently than I'd view masturbation. As long as everyone is reasonably safe I'm not passing judgement and I don't care. I do it whenever I can. I wasn't particularly worked up when I made my original post, I was more coming from a place of being disheartened. I was reacting to the idea that a man apparently wouldn't have a reason to commit to a women (or multiple women, or any consistent relationship) if he was sufficiently attractive to just go out and pick up random women. Even from the perspective of purely sexual satisfaction there are good reasons to get to know your partner's proclivities (and vice versa) so you can both have a better experience. But more importantly, reducing the human relationship aspect of 'dating' to nil is foolish. There are certain biological realities of legacy and eventual death. It isn't a fluke that people form meaningful bonds and social groups, it is part of how we cope with our own mortality. And yes, I do find a worldview that basically reduces other people to "objects for me to get off on," as offensive, it demeans me and the person I'm with. Maybe I am judging certain people's decisions and am bad for that, but I'm only judging them in the same way I'd judge someone overcooking and putting ketchup on a good steak. Life can be so much better than that narrow view, but you have to put in some effort (and take some risk, frankly) to experience the betterness.