5 ms·

It's anecdotal, but I've found my cure for depression: it's called Stoicism. I hear it's been useful to people for a couple thousand years, and is pretty much '

by K0SM0S 9y ago

It's anecdotal, but I've found my cure for depression: it's called Stoicism. I hear it's been useful to people for a couple thousand years, and is pretty much 'confirmed' by modern cognitive psychology. I experienced depression on and off for about 20 years, between 12ish and 34 (2016). Then shit really hit the fan, the perfect storm so to speak, and I was shattered to the core of my being and my values. Honestly it felt as though dying would pretty much be a non-event (although I'm not suicidal so it wasn't really an option, but survival instincts kicked in at some point and were all that prompted me to feed once in a while each week for a couple months; it took half a year before I even wanted to get better, to cope). Then I read "The Obstacle Is The Way" by Ryan Holiday. This book pretty much changed my life. I guess it came at just the right time. I underwent a sort of 'quantum change' as some psychologists call it: a profound, meaningful, lasting and massive change of my core personality and values, even thought processes and emotional responses. I am me, I mean I do recognize myself and so do my friends and family, but I am also a truly different being, it's like my biology has changed and my mind with it, or the other way around, idk. People confirm that I do look different, in the eyes, in what they feel around me. I certainly feel like my old self was flawed beyond salvation and has died on a psychological level. I feel like I salvaged as little as possible and proceeded on reinventing myself. It is still an ongoing process, although slowly stabilizing (it will be a year in December). Overall I am now able to create from scratch all the joy and motivation I always longed for, to accept reality easily in ways that keep surprising me, and to remain positive (or neutral) in most circumstances. Nothing's perfect and that's good to me. I still have habits to master (dwelling on past circumstances that provoked this major episode last year), but it's night and day with what I used to be. Considering what I went through before this change, and during it, I consider myself lucky, even blessed on some level (atheist here, with some scientific awe for existence and the cosmos). Feel free to ask for more details and suggestions, I'd be happy to oblige, otherwise you know the book. Best of hope to everyone.

andrewjl 9y ago
I'm curious about how you've come to realize you've changed as profoundly as you did, was it an instantaneous observation or something that revealed itself over time?
- K0SM0S 9y ago
  I read the book in one shot (audio+text), and something clicked inside. Immediately. I recognized a potential solution, so to speak. I was aware of being exposed to something that was touching me pretty deep. But with my usual skepticism (scientific mind), I did not know if the 'magic' explained by the author(s) would work (I have no other word to qualify how prodigious Stoicism appears to be when you first encounter its teachings, seen by a rather depressed mind). At the time I wad coping with life, trying to pass each day. I did not know if I would ever get better, I was in survival/automatic mode. However because of that I was blindly following advice from a few online mentors (Ralph Smart from "Infinite Waters" on YouTube, Ali from "The perception trainers", and John Sonmez from "Simple Programmer"). These three channels were my lifelines. So I just added Ryan Holiday's precepts into the mix, no thinking whatsoever beyond trying to assimilate his Stoicism. I pretty much read the book a second time that week. Again, it clicked, it felt like a relief, soothing, I began to see that it worked on a very basic level—like buttons to control/process emotions using your rational thought. It wasn't the things I lived through that were hurting me but what I thought of them, that part became very clear very fast. Suddenly I had some degree of control, it was more bearable. So that first part was almost instantaneous (days). Then I trained my mind further. Do note that I was as close as I've ever been to a blank slate since my childhood at that moment, because most of my ideas had been shattered by real life, real people (notably my illusions about "being good" to a woman, my values that higher moral standards do yield positive results etc; and my disease, cluster headache, was in full-blown suffering mode and attacks were related to being emotionally upset, so anything that gave me even the slightest tad of serenity was very much welcome). Within days, perhaps a few weeks, I began to see a more profound change. I had been searching for decades for a way to control my depressive tendencies, I had admittedly real reasons to be very down at that time (grieving family members + breakup + disease), and yet I was climbing back up. I began to wonder if I had finally found a "cure". This was days before 2017, and I decided to read books this year, a lot. Entrepreneur mindset and all that. I had read Napoleon Hill's Think And Grow Rich in November, it had moved me quite a lot as well. The rest is history. I went to see a neurologist in February for my disease and we found a med that worked, by May I was almost free of pain and I had means to deal with attacks; I'm still finishing the treatment until November but no attack in months. I've grown exponentially since, reprogramming my mind with the best material I could find on topics of interest to me (if you look at Tom Bilyeu's reading list on impacttheory.com, you'll get a fairly good idea). I'm still in process of discovering this change of mine. The best proof I have is emotional. I've discovered a bunch of rather negative facts about my ex (she has sociopathic tendencies, I now see that, complete with revelations that could make more than one burst in rage or despair etc). I've cut all contact with her (she was still playing mind games afterwards). But you know what? I now choose not to be affected. I'd say the emotional shield is ~90% effective, what little feelings I have thinking of all the shit she did to me are rather empathy for her (she's a really troubled individual and I wish she sought professional help, but personally? I shrug it off, it's not my cross to bear). Believe me when I say that I would have been incredibly emotional and in a victim mindset before. Now I don't care emotionally, and rationally I dismiss it whenever I think of these years 'lost' with her. I simply accept that it's my past and I can actually feel grateful because it made me who I am today; "amor fati". As for deaths in my family, I've accepted these too and I simply try to uphold the moral standards of these important people in my life (father and grandmother). I live true to what they gave me, I feel no sorrow, I just use this as energy to move forward in my own life. I am still evolving, actually it's become a trait. Growth, growth, growth mindset; learn, evolve, better yourself, etc. It's a wonderful feeling. I appreciate failure for what it teaches me, I'm actually happy regardless of outcomes. I never feel sad or bored or upset, whatever reality throws at me I'm happy to deal with. I actually find it weird when people get upset at something because I hardly ever do that anymore. Mind you I'm not perfect, not by a long shot, I still have so much to learn and live, so I find joy every day in simply living my life. I now have a purpose, much greater than myself, so it's all about that. I, personally, will be OK somehow, I know it because I will it. In that sense, change is still ongoing but I don't think it will stop any time soon. Probably when I'm dead! And that will be just, too. :) Does that answer your question? Sorry for the delay, busy weekend. I maintain an Instagram account where I write long posts about this change, among other topics, if you wish to know more.

by K0SM0S 9y ago

andrewjl 9y ago

I'm curious about how you've come to realize you've changed as profoundly as you did, was it an instantaneous observation or something that revealed itself over time?

K0SM0S 9y ago
I read the book in one shot (audio+text), and something clicked inside. Immediately. I recognized a potential solution, so to speak. I was aware of being exposed to something that was touching me pretty deep. But with my usual skepticism (scientific mind), I did not know if the 'magic' explained by the author(s) would work (I have no other word to qualify how prodigious Stoicism appears to be when you first encounter its teachings, seen by a rather depressed mind). At the time I wad coping with life, trying to pass each day. I did not know if I would ever get better, I was in survival/automatic mode. However because of that I was blindly following advice from a few online mentors (Ralph Smart from "Infinite Waters" on YouTube, Ali from "The perception trainers", and John Sonmez from "Simple Programmer"). These three channels were my lifelines. So I just added Ryan Holiday's precepts into the mix, no thinking whatsoever beyond trying to assimilate his Stoicism. I pretty much read the book a second time that week. Again, it clicked, it felt like a relief, soothing, I began to see that it worked on a very basic level—like buttons to control/process emotions using your rational thought. It wasn't the things I lived through that were hurting me but what I thought of them, that part became very clear very fast. Suddenly I had some degree of control, it was more bearable. So that first part was almost instantaneous (days). Then I trained my mind further. Do note that I was as close as I've ever been to a blank slate since my childhood at that moment, because most of my ideas had been shattered by real life, real people (notably my illusions about "being good" to a woman, my values that higher moral standards do yield positive results etc; and my disease, cluster headache, was in full-blown suffering mode and attacks were related to being emotionally upset, so anything that gave me even the slightest tad of serenity was very much welcome). Within days, perhaps a few weeks, I began to see a more profound change. I had been searching for decades for a way to control my depressive tendencies, I had admittedly real reasons to be very down at that time (grieving family members + breakup + disease), and yet I was climbing back up. I began to wonder if I had finally found a "cure". This was days before 2017, and I decided to read books this year, a lot. Entrepreneur mindset and all that. I had read Napoleon Hill's Think And Grow Rich in November, it had moved me quite a lot as well. The rest is history. I went to see a neurologist in February for my disease and we found a med that worked, by May I was almost free of pain and I had means to deal with attacks; I'm still finishing the treatment until November but no attack in months. I've grown exponentially since, reprogramming my mind with the best material I could find on topics of interest to me (if you look at Tom Bilyeu's reading list on impacttheory.com, you'll get a fairly good idea). I'm still in process of discovering this change of mine. The best proof I have is emotional. I've discovered a bunch of rather negative facts about my ex (she has sociopathic tendencies, I now see that, complete with revelations that could make more than one burst in rage or despair etc). I've cut all contact with her (she was still playing mind games afterwards). But you know what? I now choose not to be affected. I'd say the emotional shield is ~90% effective, what little feelings I have thinking of all the shit she did to me are rather empathy for her (she's a really troubled individual and I wish she sought professional help, but personally? I shrug it off, it's not my cross to bear). Believe me when I say that I would have been incredibly emotional and in a victim mindset before. Now I don't care emotionally, and rationally I dismiss it whenever I think of these years 'lost' with her. I simply accept that it's my past and I can actually feel grateful because it made me who I am today; "amor fati". As for deaths in my family, I've accepted these too and I simply try to uphold the moral standards of these important people in my life (father and grandmother). I live true to what they gave me, I feel no sorrow, I just use this as energy to move forward in my own life. I am still evolving, actually it's become a trait. Growth, growth, growth mindset; learn, evolve, better yourself, etc. It's a wonderful feeling. I appreciate failure for what it teaches me, I'm actually happy regardless of outcomes. I never feel sad or bored or upset, whatever reality throws at me I'm happy to deal with. I actually find it weird when people get upset at something because I hardly ever do that anymore. Mind you I'm not perfect, not by a long shot, I still have so much to learn and live, so I find joy every day in simply living my life. I now have a purpose, much greater than myself, so it's all about that. I, personally, will be OK somehow, I know it because I will it. In that sense, change is still ongoing but I don't think it will stop any time soon. Probably when I'm dead! And that will be just, too. :) Does that answer your question? Sorry for the delay, busy weekend. I maintain an Instagram account where I write long posts about this change, among other topics, if you wish to know more.