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To add another anecdote to yours, as a woman dating online, the vast majority of the messages I've received from men are "hey you're cute" or worse. The messag

To add another anecdote to yours, as a woman dating online, the vast majority of the messages I've received from men are "hey you're cute" or worse. The messages I've received from women are much more likely to be better, but there are much fewer of them.

deleted 9y ago
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amigoingtodie 9y ago
Can you share some examples you consider good?
hiram112 9y ago
I don't doubt you get a lot awful messages from men. Dates have showed me their Tinder / OKCupid apps, and not only was I surprised to see just how many messages women actually do receive, but also how bad they were - generic or rude or outright creepy. But having briefly used Bumble, where the women must message the guy first, I never received a message better than 'hey, hows it going?'. Now honestly, I don't believe that's because these women couldn't figure out a better opener. I just don't think they needed to because most men receive far fewer messages and will reply to any match.
- alikoneko 9y ago
  > But having briefly used Bumble, where the women must message the guy first, I never received a message better than 'hey, hows it going?'. To be fair, Bumble doesn't include a lot of space for you to talk about your interests. If I can't get an idea for who you are based on a picture (yes, most guys only have one), what more can I say other than introduce myself? My go-to icebreaker is "Hi! I'm Ali. I'm bad at this." Edit: I should also note that Bumble isn't a great dating app if you also interested in same-sex relationships. Not relevant to the parent comment, but relevant to me.
  - rarec 9y ago
    That's rather the same issue you have on online dating sites. Can't tell you how many girls love adventures and netflix; what exactly are you supposed to work with here?
    - hiram112 9y ago
      Don't forget travel and trying new restaurants!
Double_a_92 9y ago
What else could you possibly write to some stranger that you know nothing about except maybe 2-3 pictures? You'd have to at least put some hobby or interest in your profile that I might relate to... But just asking about something very specific as a first message also sounds weird. I really just wanna say "Hi" and see where it goes from there... What do women want?

deleted 9y ago

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amigoingtodie 9y ago

Can you share some examples you consider good?

hiram112 9y ago

I don't doubt you get a lot awful messages from men. Dates have showed me their Tinder / OKCupid apps, and not only was I surprised to see just how many messages women actually do receive, but also how bad they were - generic or rude or outright creepy. But having briefly used Bumble, where the women must message the guy first, I never received a message better than 'hey, hows it going?'. Now honestly, I don't believe that's because these women couldn't figure out a better opener. I just don't think they needed to because most men receive far fewer messages and will reply to any match.

alikoneko 9y ago
> But having briefly used Bumble, where the women must message the guy first, I never received a message better than 'hey, hows it going?'. To be fair, Bumble doesn't include a lot of space for you to talk about your interests. If I can't get an idea for who you are based on a picture (yes, most guys only have one), what more can I say other than introduce myself? My go-to icebreaker is "Hi! I'm Ali. I'm bad at this." Edit: I should also note that Bumble isn't a great dating app if you also interested in same-sex relationships. Not relevant to the parent comment, but relevant to me.
- rarec 9y ago
  That's rather the same issue you have on online dating sites. Can't tell you how many girls love adventures and netflix; what exactly are you supposed to work with here?
  - hiram112 9y ago
    Don't forget travel and trying new restaurants!

Double_a_92 9y ago

What else could you possibly write to some stranger that you know nothing about except maybe 2-3 pictures? You'd have to at least put some hobby or interest in your profile that I might relate to... But just asking about something very specific as a first message also sounds weird. I really just wanna say "Hi" and see where it goes from there... What do women want?