5 ms·

MDMA assisted therapy helped heal this in me entirely. I found depression was resistance to feeling and accepting my emotions fully and that I could instead mak

by ada1981 9y ago

MDMA assisted therapy helped heal this in me entirely. I found depression was resistance to feeling and accepting my emotions fully and that I could instead make space to engage with and be with emotions.

kweinber 9y ago
Is there a legal, accepted MDMA assisted treatment path or something you fashioned yourself? Any references you could share?
- ada1981 9y ago
  Maps.org is the best place to get the latest resources and to learn of current clinical trials (mostly for PTSD). I did my work on my own with a trusted guide. Though I have been asked to write up my experience to serve as a starting point for more research. Basic format was 100mg + 50mg booster at 2 hour mark. Eye mask, couch, blanket, music. My interface with western psychiatry was a diagnosis of schizophrenia (at 18) and later bipolar (at 33). And I've experienced everything from anxiety, paranoia, depersonalization, depression, suicidailty, panic attacks, etc. I'm med free, feeling very healthy inside, in love with a wonderful woman. My relationships are nourishing and my internal compass is much more trustable. I'm 36 now, so it took a couple years once I decided to "fix" the problem. I also feel like I let go of a lot of the defenses I was hiding behind and quite enjoy life from a vulnerable and honest place. My biggest challenge now is just cleaning up the debts and general mess left by my healing process expenses and getting a bit more consistent income. But both of those seem possible and manageable. And I also have been able to help / coach a lot of other people along the way.
songshu 9y ago
How did you deal with the come downs?
- ada1981 9y ago
  Good question. I typically would use 5HTP and some other supplements for 3 days before and after the sessions. But I also learned that the "come down" was also a useful state of consciousness for me. It was like the water level was lower and I could see / feel the topography of my subcocious more clearly. So sensitive points in the following days became useful if I was able to go more deeply into the difficult experience, just like what the medicine allowed me to do. I often would feel like the medicine would give me a preview of the work I'd need to do in the coming weeks internally, and then when I encountered similar emotions in the weeks after, it was like the training wheels were off. So in short, the "come down"c which honestly was never anything major, was something I was able to use for further healing and exploration.

kweinber 9y ago

Is there a legal, accepted MDMA assisted treatment path or something you fashioned yourself? Any references you could share?

ada1981 9y ago
Maps.org is the best place to get the latest resources and to learn of current clinical trials (mostly for PTSD). I did my work on my own with a trusted guide. Though I have been asked to write up my experience to serve as a starting point for more research. Basic format was 100mg + 50mg booster at 2 hour mark. Eye mask, couch, blanket, music. My interface with western psychiatry was a diagnosis of schizophrenia (at 18) and later bipolar (at 33). And I've experienced everything from anxiety, paranoia, depersonalization, depression, suicidailty, panic attacks, etc. I'm med free, feeling very healthy inside, in love with a wonderful woman. My relationships are nourishing and my internal compass is much more trustable. I'm 36 now, so it took a couple years once I decided to "fix" the problem. I also feel like I let go of a lot of the defenses I was hiding behind and quite enjoy life from a vulnerable and honest place. My biggest challenge now is just cleaning up the debts and general mess left by my healing process expenses and getting a bit more consistent income. But both of those seem possible and manageable. And I also have been able to help / coach a lot of other people along the way.

songshu 9y ago

How did you deal with the come downs?

ada1981 9y ago
Good question. I typically would use 5HTP and some other supplements for 3 days before and after the sessions. But I also learned that the "come down" was also a useful state of consciousness for me. It was like the water level was lower and I could see / feel the topography of my subcocious more clearly. So sensitive points in the following days became useful if I was able to go more deeply into the difficult experience, just like what the medicine allowed me to do. I often would feel like the medicine would give me a preview of the work I'd need to do in the coming weeks internally, and then when I encountered similar emotions in the weeks after, it was like the training wheels were off. So in short, the "come down"c which honestly was never anything major, was something I was able to use for further healing and exploration.