7 ms·

IANAL but If you want to fix this get your parents to sign a power of attorney over to you.

crispyambulance 9y ago
Yes, absolutely essential. Best done with a reputable elder law attorney who can walk you through all the complex messes that can occur when old folks transition to assisted living and skilled nursing. The next step after POA is getting it filed with the banks so that you can monitor everything that happens and intervene as needed.
- Flammy 9y ago
  Does this mean sending a copy to literally every bank? Dozens of major ones? Or just banks which your parents have a relationship with? Is there a central authority for this sort of thing?
  - crispyambulance 9y ago
    No, sorry I wasn't clear, just the bank(s) that your parent has accounts in.
Swizec 9y ago
> IANAL but If you want to fix this get your parents to sign a power of attorney over to you. If you are said parent, which of the kids do you absolutely trust to never ever screw you over no matter how much incentive there is and no matter how hard a times they fall on? That's what I'm worried about when getting old(er). You give your trust to an amazing person in their 40's with the best of lives. They'll take care of you. Then they fall on hard times 10 years later and oh hey look they have power of attorney over all this money maybe if they help themselves juuuuuust a little bit ... When I was 10 my dad drained my and my sister's savings[1] account that way. Just a little, just to get over the hump in his business, he'll put it all back later of course. 20 years later and afaik he still hasn't. Having access to other people's money when you have none of your own is terrible. I don't know if I'd trust myself with that, let alone somebody else. [1] of course it wasn't really our savings, think of it more like a college fund my parents started for each kid when they were born
- no_excuse_ 9y ago
  > When I was 10 my dad drained my and my sister's savings[1] account that way. Is this a typo? At least in my state minors cannot own anything -- their guardians do. Therefore it would have never been yours to begin with. Even then, who is 10 and has enough money to float a business?
  - jackvalentine 9y ago
    It's fairly common around the world that minors can and do own bank accounts - usually tied to a guardian but the money is nominally 'theirs'. My 3yo niece has about 2000AUD in her bank account, from various gifts through her short life so far.
  - Swizec 9y ago
    > Even then, who is 10 and has enough money to float a business? I don't know how much was in there, but say my parents were putting in $10 every month. By the time I was 10 that would be around $1200. In a country where median income back then was probably around $15000 that's 1 month's salary. Plenty to tie one over when they're low on cash and see a paid invoice just around the corner. I'm sure he did it with the best of intentions and with full intent to put it back in just a short while. My point is that when you are strapped for funds and you have full legal access to somebody else's funds, it can be hard to resist.
    - tlear 9y ago
      This is why I am not putting anything into my kids "savings". They are not their saving they are mine. Period. If for tax reason I have to do it I will never tell them about it. Of course he should have used that money, it was his. Not to mention you most likely benefitted quite a bit from his business surviving. If that concept is not something he explained to you then he failed as parent in other ways.
      - Swizec 9y ago
        Well it also lead (among other things) to my parent’s divorce and me and my sister growing up in a single parent home with a dad who claims he’s too broke to pay child support. Afaik he still owes my mum most of it and has turned to skirting the law to get out of debt collector crosshairs. The problem isn’t that he took the money. The problem is how he did it (unilaterally and without discussion with other people whose money it also was) And his business did not survive so I didn’t benefit from that either. So yeah, how was that good for me again?
sandworm101 9y ago
Free legal advice: Make sure it is a "durable power of attorney". In many jurisdictions a simple PoA expires when the person becomes incompetent. Most lawyers will understand the difference and get you the right type, but anyone trying to do it themselves with junk online forms might miss the distinction.

Yes, absolutely essential. Best done with a reputable elder law attorney who can walk you through all the complex messes that can occur when old folks transition to assisted living and skilled nursing. The next step after POA is getting it filed with the banks so that you can monitor everything that happens and intervene as needed.

Flammy 9y ago
Does this mean sending a copy to literally every bank? Dozens of major ones? Or just banks which your parents have a relationship with? Is there a central authority for this sort of thing?
- crispyambulance 9y ago
  No, sorry I wasn't clear, just the bank(s) that your parent has accounts in.

Swizec 9y ago

> IANAL but If you want to fix this get your parents to sign a power of attorney over to you. If you are said parent, which of the kids do you absolutely trust to never ever screw you over no matter how much incentive there is and no matter how hard a times they fall on? That's what I'm worried about when getting old(er). You give your trust to an amazing person in their 40's with the best of lives. They'll take care of you. Then they fall on hard times 10 years later and oh hey look they have power of attorney over all this money maybe if they help themselves juuuuuust a little bit ... When I was 10 my dad drained my and my sister's savings[1] account that way. Just a little, just to get over the hump in his business, he'll put it all back later of course. 20 years later and afaik he still hasn't. Having access to other people's money when you have none of your own is terrible. I don't know if I'd trust myself with that, let alone somebody else. [1] of course it wasn't really our savings, think of it more like a college fund my parents started for each kid when they were born

no_excuse_ 9y ago
> When I was 10 my dad drained my and my sister's savings[1] account that way. Is this a typo? At least in my state minors cannot own anything -- their guardians do. Therefore it would have never been yours to begin with. Even then, who is 10 and has enough money to float a business?
- jackvalentine 9y ago
  It's fairly common around the world that minors can and do own bank accounts - usually tied to a guardian but the money is nominally 'theirs'. My 3yo niece has about 2000AUD in her bank account, from various gifts through her short life so far.
- Swizec 9y ago
  > Even then, who is 10 and has enough money to float a business? I don't know how much was in there, but say my parents were putting in $10 every month. By the time I was 10 that would be around $1200. In a country where median income back then was probably around $15000 that's 1 month's salary. Plenty to tie one over when they're low on cash and see a paid invoice just around the corner. I'm sure he did it with the best of intentions and with full intent to put it back in just a short while. My point is that when you are strapped for funds and you have full legal access to somebody else's funds, it can be hard to resist.
  - tlear 9y ago
    This is why I am not putting anything into my kids "savings". They are not their saving they are mine. Period. If for tax reason I have to do it I will never tell them about it. Of course he should have used that money, it was his. Not to mention you most likely benefitted quite a bit from his business surviving. If that concept is not something he explained to you then he failed as parent in other ways.
    - Swizec 9y ago
      Well it also lead (among other things) to my parent’s divorce and me and my sister growing up in a single parent home with a dad who claims he’s too broke to pay child support. Afaik he still owes my mum most of it and has turned to skirting the law to get out of debt collector crosshairs. The problem isn’t that he took the money. The problem is how he did it (unilaterally and without discussion with other people whose money it also was) And his business did not survive so I didn’t benefit from that either. So yeah, how was that good for me again?

sandworm101 9y ago

Free legal advice: Make sure it is a "durable power of attorney". In many jurisdictions a simple PoA expires when the person becomes incompetent. Most lawyers will understand the difference and get you the right type, but anyone trying to do it themselves with junk online forms might miss the distinction.