I am certainly stating the callous obvious but...she sounds terrible and you are lucky to have gotten out. And I know the lingering stomach-churning attachment

I am certainly stating the callous obvious but...she sounds terrible and you are lucky to have gotten out. And I know the lingering stomach-churning attachment you describe. All too well : ( My hope is that when that (chemical?) fixation subsides you'll have a huge example of why she isn't a good partner that your rational, non-animal mind to latch onto.