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>>There isn't a single example of this "emotional labor" in the article, where a consideration is given to "the man" about how much labor it takes, emotionally,

>>There isn't a single example of this "emotional labor" in the article, where a consideration is given to "the man" about how much labor it takes, emotionally, to keep up with someone who has high expectations for their environment, but does not communicate those expectations in a way that forms consensus - instead, opting to 'shame the man' for not having the same standards. Not to mention the 'emotional labor' of working full time to keep a family afloat. The only part I agree with the author on is that the man should be keeping his house running and in working order. If it was not part of their division of labor agreement (aka marriage) that she would maintain the house as well as raise the kids (I'm assuming, based on what she wrote) - then he needs to step up by doing those things himself or hiring someone else to do. Which is what she asked for originally. Everything else is her misusing a term to justify her emotions and argument and shaming her husband for not fixing how she feels. The biggest issue, as you said, is the lack of communication.

EarthIsHome 9y ago
I think you and the parent comment have completely missed her point. > Not to mention the 'emotional labor' of working full time to keep a family afloat. She mentions this exact same defense that many men say. You also don't know their income breakdown; she has a job, she's freelanced, while also making household and familial decisions.
- nxsynonym 9y ago
  She doesn't have a point other than "I want more help around the house and my husband won't listen". That's not a failing of anything other than the husband's ability to listen and her ability to be upfront with her expectations. Income breakdown is irrelevant.
  - mercutio2 9y ago
    This particular author’s arguments are irritating, self-centered, and over-generalized, so I’m not really defending the piece. But the author is quite explicit that her husband does any task asked; what she’s asking for is that he take more initiative and not require praise when he does so. I agree with many other commenters that coming to consensus on “everyone in the family is expected to spend 2 minutes every evening putting away things they’ve taken out without requiring nagging or praise” is a very low bar and should not be a hard communication problem to solve in a healthy relationship.

EarthIsHome 9y ago

I think you and the parent comment have completely missed her point. > Not to mention the 'emotional labor' of working full time to keep a family afloat. She mentions this exact same defense that many men say. You also don't know their income breakdown; she has a job, she's freelanced, while also making household and familial decisions.

nxsynonym 9y ago
She doesn't have a point other than "I want more help around the house and my husband won't listen". That's not a failing of anything other than the husband's ability to listen and her ability to be upfront with her expectations. Income breakdown is irrelevant.
- mercutio2 9y ago
  This particular author’s arguments are irritating, self-centered, and over-generalized, so I’m not really defending the piece. But the author is quite explicit that her husband does any task asked; what she’s asking for is that he take more initiative and not require praise when he does so. I agree with many other commenters that coming to consensus on “everyone in the family is expected to spend 2 minutes every evening putting away things they’ve taken out without requiring nagging or praise” is a very low bar and should not be a hard communication problem to solve in a healthy relationship.